Lonely for God –
Despite the many cards, letters and visits I received during those early days (Rochester Prison 1990), a gnawing loneliness continued to eat at my soul. It wasn’t a loneliness for people; it was a loneliness for God. I simply did not know where He was. Worse yet, I felt that He had forgotten my address. I attempted to keep busy by pouring myself into various clubs I had joined and by preparing and teaching the motivational material I used in the smoking cessation course. I needed the activity and the interaction with people that the clubs provided, and I needed to absorb the motivational principles I was teaching. But all the positive principles I was espousing could not satisfy the deepest needs of my soul.
I believed in the motivational message. When I had been at PTL, I had often simply taken a “positive thinking” type of message and put a Scripture to it and labeled it “positive confession.” Now, I was beginning to understand how severely I had cheated my listeners. Although the positive message was true and was helpful, it was not enough. It was similar to going to a banquet and eating only the appetizer, ignoring the more nutritious food.
I was learning that although it was marvelous to be motivated and it was an important piece in the puzzle, mere positive thinking did not meet my needs when I was lying in my bunk by myself. I was still alone. I was still lonely. I still woke up in prison every morning, wondering, What in the world am I doing here? Is this a dream?
I want to pause a moment here to talk about the dangers of presupposition in Christian teaching. To presuppose something means to assume you know (and can teach) something before you have actually learned it. It’s a very dangerous place to be in Christianity because if you assume you can teach others how to get relief from their suffering without the benefit of actually experiencing it yourself, you can shortchange those whose emotional and spiritual needs are critical, and for that you will be held accountable. It’s no wonder that the Bible says in James 3:1, “Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly.”
Critical spiritual needs cannot be met with shallow quick fixes and pat formulas. ‘Positive confession’ was and is a good principal to learn, but unless it is accompanied by deeper teaching regarding the need for intimacy with God above all else, it is impotent and incapable of producing any relief to the suffering soul.
When you casually toss out a ‘formula’ or a teaching principle as I had done with ‘positive confession,’ before you had, in fact, learned the true spiritual principles that would bring genuine relief from your suffering, you can actually do more harm than good. When the ‘positive confession’ fails to produce the purported results, the faith of some could be injured.
I’m completely convinced that God allowed my suffering so that I could be purified in the fires of affliction and learn the depth of God’s Love for me – for whom He loves, He also chastens (Hebrews 12:6). The incomplete message I had preached left out the most important thing: Intimacy with God.
As we enter the Last Days, we will face some very trying circumstances. The most important thing we can learn heading into the days ahead is to hang on to your faith! At all cost, hang on! Even when you do all that you know to do; you’ve recited all the ‘positive confessions’ and prayed all the spiritual warfare prayers and things still go haywire… hang on! Get the Word of God deep down inside you and hang on! Having done all…. STAND! Hebrews 10:36
(to be continued….)
Dear Pastor Jim
Yes what you have said is very possible.We stood by you even during those prison days when all Africa seemed to have abandoned even praying for you.They had forgotten you are the father of modern televangelism.We need to forma club for all those hurting people who are now healing slowly.we could call it Morningside CLUB since its morning for many of us.I snuggest you send me your opinion about it through vgmkenya@gmail.com so that we can plan ahead with Pastor Jim as our patron.Thank you
Blessings
Joseph
Thanks so much for sharing your experience of loneliness with us. I am so pleased that you are still carrying HIS banner by inspiring us with your encounter of loneliness and with your ministerial work in his vineyard. Your life has been a testimony to us all. I have also been sourjournying in the valley of loneliness for the past two years. My husband and I currently live seperate lives, he was a strong minister of God but backslided five years ago since he ventured into the business of real estate.He is hardly at home he leaves home at 8.00am and returns at 8.00pm, he has neglected myself and our three children. He no longer prays and does not read the bible, but he still attends church on Sundays. Friends and family have stayed away from me, I have financial difficulties and currently does not have a stable job. All these problems erupted since I made a decision to get closer to God and had refused to compromise my faith. Since I’d began a new walk with God I have been encountering greater challenges. I have my good days and bad days where I cry out to the lord, and sometimes I just dont have the urge and the strength to pray. Presently I feel God has strayed from me and that he no longer sees me.
However, I have made up my mind not to give up, because I know he exist, he is real and he is still a loving father. I believe God is our helper in times of trouble, but I dont know why he has not come to my aid. Even though I believe every thing is working together for my good, but it is difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel…
not sure where my previous message ended up. It just disappeared. Anyway was suggesting the name for your book, How about Revelation 101 ?
We so enjoy your daily insights and encouragment. It may seem sad to some but it would make me sad if we didn’t get information to help us and then not be prepared. True happiness is being prepared and my Bible tells us to be prepared.
Thank you for helping us to see what is coming and how to prepare for it.
When the teacher is giving a test, the teacher is silent. Many of us have been there, crying out God where are you. I can’t hear you, I can’t see you, I can’t feel you. Then you hear his soft whisper. I’m right beside you. I will never, never, never leave you or forsake you. If Joseph had not gone to prison, I wonder what history would have been. Many would have died in the famine. He was thrown into the pit by his brothers. Sounds like some christians of today. Brothers in the Lord. But it was God’s sovereign plan to save many lives. Your unwanted time out, proved to be one of God’s outstanding miracles. The warnings, the preparation and the sounding of alarm. Blow the trumpet in my holy city, sound the alarm across the land. God loves you Jim Bakker and I pray for you and Lori and your family when I pray for mine
As written in 1st John “God is love”. In 1st Corinthians chapter 13 it tells us in the Greek “to pursue love”. To pursue (seek) love we must pursue God. There is, what I believe, is such important question, “Can a human being in the flesh without the Holy Spirit ‘actually truly (in truth)love others’?” I truly don’t think so!
Pastor Jim, your post is right on the rock and not the shifting sand. I also believe it is Spirit filled for all of us to grab and hold on to. God Bless! Mike
Yes, I too lost my job and my house, had to find homes for my 2 dearest littlest dogs, all in the span of 18 months. I had felt like I was at the bottom, and I had to reach up and search for the Lord, and he lifted me up and dusted me off. He took me in His arms and I just praise Him everyday. Everyday I thank Him for all the simple things He provides me with. For the simplest things are all that matter, really. Today I am working temporary assignments, live in a cozy apartment, and have adopted a sweet kitten a neighbor abandoned when she moved away. If you had told me 3 yrs. ago all this would have happened I wouldn’t have believed you. But I have the Lord, and I love Him so much. God bless you Jim, for your honest message. I feel your humility and your steadfast committment to teaching us Revelation is blessing so many in these hard times. I tried reading Revelation several times and got lost in the wording. You have disected it for us and made it easier to understand. Thank you Pastor Jim. May God continue to bless you and keep you humble.
Pastor Jim, When I lost my job and became sick, I took GOD off of a shelf and put him first in my life in stead of the worldly things, oh my I have had warefare in my household and when I watch your program well no one will watch it with me they all run out of the room…BUT I have learned so much on about Revelations and the now times also how to prepare; oh how I wish that I saw your program 10 years ago before I lost my job to get stocked up on things that I need for any type of an emergency!!! I only wish you had your own TV station that would run 24/7 to watch anytime of day.
Please do not stop preaching and teaching and my GOD bless you and your family too!!!
Jim,You hit the nail right on the head ! Exactly ! Thank you.Have a great Thursday !
Jim, I am 45 yrs old and I remember watching PTL all the time with my parents. I was so HAPPY to see that you have another show (and seeing Tammi Sue again is really great). We record your show every weekday and watch it in the evenings. We really get a lot out it. There is so much more to your message now – God is really behind you. Dont stop.
love u
Great, Loved this! Cant wait for the next part!
Boy did I need to hear from you today. I have been in a fight for my life because of 9/11 for 7 years now, and it is the loneliest, darkest, most isolating place I have ever been. And I am so weary of trying to live up to this “nothing bothers me” kind of Christianity, I can’t begin to express. No one but another who is ill from 9/11 knows what I am talking about when I say that there is nothing normal about this illness caused by all of that toxic crappola that is burned through my body. And I have been in a prison of isolation for the most part for so many years. The happy, happy christian gives me a clue that they have been through nothing at all. I just needed to know it was ok to feel what I feel….and to believe that God still loves me….and more important, hasn’t left me. Thank you for talking about the dark places that you have walked or crawled your way through, rather than just the mountaintops that you have reached. So thankful for you and your honesty. I pray God strengthens me as He has you….and somehow helps me get His love for me deep down inside so He can use me too.
Oh, and I have done all the positive confessions and warfare….and sometimes I get victories, and sometimes I don’t. And I am learning not to hang my hat on just that. It CAN hurt you progress in your faith. I also think God has to teach us things and give us revelation about some things. I am like the “show me” state: I never just believe what someone says about the Bible. In fact sometimes, I don’t think I see what even GOD means in what He says. And yet when HE teaches you something, it is something you KNOW, not just something you are giving lip service to.
Pastor Jim,
Please read the following prophetic New Testament scriptures which warn us believers of the consequences of rebelling against God. They just as well apply to many other “fallen” American Christians as you and I. Jim, you’re by no means alone!!
1 Peter 4: 17-18
“For the time is come that judgment must begin at the House of God: and if it first begin at US, what shall the end be of them that obey not the gospel of God? And if the righteous scarcely be saved, where shall the ungodly and the sinner appear?”
Hebrews 10: 26-31
“…if we [the Church] sin wilfully after that we have received the knowledge of the truth [i.e., the words of Jesus Christ], there remaineth no more sacrifice [of the shed blood of Christ] for sins, but a certain fearful looking for of judgment [by God] and fiery indignation, which shall devour the adversaries [i.e., the “backslidden” Church].
He that despised Moses’ law died without mercy under two or three witnesses:
Of how much sorer punishment, suppose ye [Christians], shall he [a disciple] be thought worthy, who hath trodden under foot the Son of God, and hath counted the blood of the covenant, wherewith he was sanctified, an unholy thing, and hath done despite unto the Spirit of grace?
For we know him that hath said, ‘Vengeance belongeth unto me, I will recompense, saith the Lord’. And again, ‘The Lord shall judge his people’.
It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God”.
Hebrews 6: 4-8
“it is impossible for those [believers] who were once enlightened, and have tasted of the heavenly gift, and were made partakers of the Holy Ghost,
And have tasted the good word of God, and the powers of the world to come, If they shall fall away, to renew them again unto repentance; seeing they crucify to themselves the Son of God afresh, and put him to an open shame.
For the earth which drinketh in the rain that cometh oft upon it, and bringeth forth herbs meet for them by whom it is dressed, [that faithful disciple] receiveth blessing from God:
But that [unfaithful disciple] which beareth thorns and briers is rejected [from the Kingdom of God], and is nigh unto cursing; whose [eternal] end is to be burned [in the fires of Hell].
2 Peter 3
10 But the day of the Lord [i.e. the “Second” coming of Christ] will come as a thief in the night; in the which the heavens shall pass away with a great noise, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat, the earth also and the works that are therein shall be burned up.
11 Seeing then that all these things shall be dissolved, what manner of persons ought ye [saints] to be in all holy conversation and [fearful] godliness, [lest ye decide to draw back into sin, and be caught unawares in the fiery day of our Lord’s appearing];
12 Looking for and hasting unto the coming of the day of God, wherein the heavens being on fire shall be dissolved, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat?
Galatians 5:21
I tell you [Christians] before, as I have also told you in time past, that they [i.e. the “believers”] which do such things [i.e. practice “sin”] shall not inherit the kingdom of God.
1 Corithians 9
24 Know ye not that they which run in a race run all, but one receiveth the prize? So run [the “race” of salvation], that ye may obtain [the “prize” of eternal life].
25 And every man that striveth for the mastery is temperate in all things. Now they [i.e. the “unbelievers”] do it to obtain a corruptible crown; but we[Christians do it to obtain] an incorruptible [crown].
26 I [Paul] therefore so run, not as uncertainly; so fight I, not as one that beateth the air: 27 But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection [to Christ]: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway.
1 Timothy 4:16
Take heed unto thyself [ye believers], and unto the doctrine [of Christ]; continue in them: for in doing this [i.e. continuing in the docrine of Christ] thou shalt both save thyself, and them that hear thee.
1 Timothy 4:1-2
Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some [believers] shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils;
Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron…..