With a simple license plate that said “God Cares,”  I was able to breathe for the ride to the airport to catch my flight to Dallas. I knew the Master’s Commission event that I was to attend there called “The Mix” was a key to my future.  God was showing me that He was there with me, but the ride to the airport was not nearly long enough. And suddenly, we had arrived.  

So far I had managed to keep my head buried in my Bible. Each word, a kind of anti-anxiety treatment, but it really only lasted for as long as I remained there. The moment I turned my head from His Word I could feel the anxiety coming back.  I had been in the midst of an almost paralyzing attack of anxiety, but I knew that God had a plan for me.  It was this plan that would make me fight every blast of fear the enemy could throw at me.  

We got to the airport early.  My mom and sister were not going to be allowed to go through the terminal with me past security.  As I sat, my head buried into the Word, they went to speak with a security guard. I kept reading my Word, not looking up; I didn’t know what the conversation was, I was just going to stay in the Word.  Every time I put my head outside of the Word of God, I felt the fear coming back.

My mother and sister are such amazing and good women!  They were taking care of me with such love!  They told the security guard that I had been dealing with a lot of fear and asked if it would be okay if we waited until the last possible minute for me to go through security so that they could stay with me.  It was a small airport, and the guard was very kind and told us that would be fine.    

It was 40 minutes until my time to leave, my head was buried in my Bible, but I felt the loving hands of my mom and sister on my back.  I could hear them praying under their breath for me. This was a huge event in my life, we all knew it, we all felt it; this was literally my calling on the line.  My family felt that there was something great inside of me. They knew that this decision could literally affect millions of people’s lives, and I truly felt the pressure of it.   

We kept praying.  God’s Word was all I would look at or think about.  Forty minutes… ‘Oh no… ok ok’…  Fifteen minutes… ‘Oh gosh! Oh gosh!’… Ten minutes, ‘Oh no! Oh no, God!’  I heard my mother’s soothing voice, “Zach, you have five minutes.”

I didn’t know if I could do it.  The panic kept rising up into my throat.  

I remember clearly when it was time to get up and leave.  I put my finger in the Bible, marking the chapter where I was focused, just so that I could walk and read.  My beautiful mother and sister walked with me slowly to the security area.  

The purpose of my blog is to be transparent with people so I have to give you the whole picture, the whole truth.  At this point, walking to security, I began to weep.  Not a full out sobbing, but the kind of weeping where tears streamed down my face.  I was so scared. I was completely filled with panic and fear.  I started to remove everything out of my pockets and put my shoes in the bin.  The security lady across from me kept staring at me.  I looked back at my mom and my sister standing about 60 feet away.   It still touches me to this day, that image of my mom and sister as I turned around to wave goodbye… that they were crying too.  They were waving at me, saying “I love you! We’re praying for you” as tears flowed down their beautiful faces.   

It was rather comical what happened next.  It even made me laugh!    In the midst of my panic and tears, the security lady lightly put her hand on my shoulder and said, “ I remember leaving home too, it’s never easy.”  All I could think was, “Lady, I am just leaving for three days!  I’ll be home on Monday!”

I walked through the main terminal and got to my gate.  I immediately went right to the Word of God.  I hear, “Now seating, rows A-F,” then “Now seating rows G- M…”   They went through the list.  I knew that my row had already been called but I wanted to wait until there were only a couple of people left in line because I didn’t want to leave the Word. At that moment I was by myself.  I didn’t know if my Mom and Kristi were still in the airport or not, but in my mind I was by myself.   I was in the terminal and I was alone. But, I wasn’t, because I felt the Holy Spirit with me at all times.  I felt Jesus with me in His Word.  So, I kept reading and reading and I would not look up.  If I looked up, the fear would overwhelm me; I could NOT look up!  As long as I was looking at Jesus in His Word, I was okay.  I could still feel the fear and the pressure but God’s Words kept me from having it overrun my whole being.  

I remember thinking, ‘This is the last moment I can get on this plane’. I had my Bible, my zip up jacket on with my hoodie and my backpack.  I got up from my seat and started praying the whole way until I could get to the plane.  I remember giving them my ticket and making my way down the tunnel walkway.   I remember thinking, “This is it, I am either going to make it or I am going to die!”  I took my first step onto the plane, saw my seat and went to sit down.    

Some memories stay with you forever and I remember with every part of me,  the moment, the second, the exact instance that I sat down.  I planted myself in that seat, flipped the hood over on my jacket to cover my head, put my face in my hands and I just began to weep.  I did not weep out of fear;  I wept because the MOMENT I sat in that seat,  the Holy Spirit came inside of that plane.  Once again, like the moments I spent with the Holy Spirit in my bedroom during my Junior year, a supernatural joy, a supernatural peace and a supernatural love came over my entire body. I couldn’t contain myself. I started to cry out of extreme joy, whispering under my breath, “Thank you God, thank you God, thank you God!  I can do this! “  And I remember thinking… holding my Bible in my lap, sighing in relief.  “ Yes God, I can do this!”

Then all of the sudden the fear came back!  I was like, “Nevermind! Nevermind, okay. God, I understand what you are saying…but I have to stay focused here! “   Back to His Word went my eyes and heart and I read the whole way to Dallas. And the fear did not come back.

My Calling from God was on the line.  I learned from that experience that the moment you are Called by Him, to follow Him, you will be guaranteed to have warfare.  You see, the devil doesn’t look at your strengths, he finds the weaknesses.  He tries to expose them and distract you from your God-given path. But God is in control, and He can turn your weakest day into the strongest foundation for your future.