Hansel’s words (and the Spirit of God through them) were insistent.
We cannot overcome loneliness by trying to escape it. We must lean into it, and thereby transform it into solitude.* We must not just keep trying to avoid the loneliness by constant distraction. He is here. He is here. He is here. We must push through the loneliness to joy.
Tim Hansel taught me how to turn my loneliness into solitude with God. What a difference! “Loneliness,” says Tim, “parches our lips for the living God, makes us hungry for His presence. I learned that:
Loneliness is feeling alone. Solitude is being alone. Loneliness feels frantic. Solitude is still and focused. Loneliness focuses on external circumstances. Solitude focuses on the inner adventure. Loneliness relies on what others think and say about you. Solitude relies on what God says about you and to you.**
At this point in my life Through the Wilderness of Loneliness impacted me second only to the Bible. No other book has been more useful to me. The transformation did not come quickly or easily for me. I still felt as though I had not heard from God in several years.
In early 1980, I had sinned seriously, but when I repented and sought God’s forgiveness, I knew He was there. I knew He forgave me, whether other people chose to believe that or not, or whether they chose to forgive me or not. God continued to use my life and seemed to bless everything I set out to do in His name. The ministry kept getting bigger and bigger. Then, after the disclosure of my sin and my subsequent departure from PTL, nothing I tried to do in God’s name bore any fruit. Nothing worked. I tried to start another television program in Charlotte. It didn’t work. I tried to begin again in Florida; that also soon fell apart. Everything I tried turned to dung.
What do you do when God doesn’t hear you? Where does a person go who feels that God doesn’t want him anymore?
Even though God had blessed me so much in the past, I began to think, Is there no hope for me? Were my detractors correct? I relived the words of my accusers almost every day.*** I thought, Well, maybe my sins were too awful. Maybe I hurt other people and the kingdom of God so badly that my sins were beyond God’s willingness to forgive me.
The words Tammy and I had said so many times at the close of our television programs, “God loves you; He really does!” now haunted me.
Finally, as I read Hansel’s book, I felt like there might be hope. I renewed my cries to God. “God, please talk to me! Show me something, anything, just please let me know that You care, and that You haven’t given up on me.”
*Do you avoid being alone? Are you comfortable spending the day with just you (and Jesus)?
** What has Jesus said to you in your times of solitude with Him?
*** What is the spiritual principle behind Matthew 12:37 “by your words you are justified, and by your words you are condemned?”
Hi Jim,
You don’t know me but I was a young man when PTL was on the air. I watched the show everyday and was blessed by your ministry. I always wanted to visit Heritage USA. Of course God allowed things to take place and that was never going to happen. After reading your post tonight on forgiveness I needed to write to you and tell you that yes, God does forgive and He never throws us away. His great plan for us is being carried out and will be completed in His time. I live in Columbia SC so I often drive past the old Heritage USA property and although it brings sadness, it also brings thankfulness to God for His love and grace. I never had the opportunity to meet you and Tammy face to face but I wanted to tell you that I am a man who was blessed by your ministry and will always cherish those times I watched the PTL club. You are a forgiven and loved by God and from this man in Columbia!! I get to watch your new show now with wonderful times of excitment and joy. May God richly bless you and Lori in your ministry and your committment to the Lord’s leading!
Richard Fisher
Columbia SC
I WATCH YOUR SHOW EVERY DAY ,,… JUST LOVE YOU AND YOUR WIFE. ENJOY ALL OF YOUR GUEST SPEAKERS AND GODS WORD ABOUT THE LAST DAYS… HAVE YOU EVERY HAD IN THE PASS OR GOING TO HAVE JOHN PAUL JACKSON ON . TO HEAR WHAT GOD IS ALSO TELLING HIM. WOULD LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU . GOD BLESS YOU
Jim, I remember you last from those days in the 80’s when your sin was the big news headlines. Last I remember, you went to prison… today was the first time I actually read anything about you since then. I was actually trying to find out about the prophesies of a guy named Jim Shirley (not sure how to spell it??) and your link came up. I read what you wrote in your blog about lonliness as compared to solitude and I appreciated it. Your words rang true to me. My wife left me, abandoned our 3 yr. marriage and moved out of state back in Feb. I loved her dearly (and still do) and was CRUSHED. (that word does not begin to describe the PROFOUND loss I still feel). I have been forced to deal with lonliness/solitude and feel I’ve not done real well with it to be completely candid. She’s been with at least one other man since she left and now is in yet another new relationship. It tears my heart apart as she is still my wife and part of my flesh – and our divorce is not final until after the first of the year. She is living so selfishly and sinfully and yet the enemy has deceived her and she still feels she is “OK” with the Lord. I am heartbroken and sad for my wife’s choices and the cost to both of us – and everyone who knows us. I am probably a complete idiot but am still praying for healing and restoration in our marriage as my love for her is pure, and strong and true. I am not sure HOW I’d be able to get beyond the betrayal, but I do know with God’s help – through the Holy Spirit – it’s possible. I just wanted to reach out to you with a word of encouragement and say I really saw Jesus in what you wrote. You’ve had your personal sin dragged through the public eye and yet have pushed through the guilt and shame and are still doing your best to serve the Lord. To me – that’s the mark of a TRUE CHRISTIAN. So keep plugging away Jim… and I would be ETERNALLY GRATEFUL for any prayer you and your wife would be willing to lift up for me and mine – who’s completely lost right now. God bless you Jim… see you in Glory! Randy <
Randy, we will be praying for you.
Hang on tight to Jesus and remember that he will never, never, never leave you or forsake you.
Love,
Jim
Our family just recloated and we’ve been living with my in-laws since April while we search (and now close in July) for a home. It’s been crazy between my husband’s travel, working at home with my mother in law who also works and keeping 2 girls (4, 2) entertained. Yes there is extra help, but at the same time there’s more people to coordinate solitude’ time around.It’s amazing how refreshing a 20 minute car ride through the country to pick up the mail at the post office could be. I need to do it more often, and don’t think alone time is selfish rather it should be a necessity to sanity. I know I don’t do it enough, but like you said I guess I feel like I have to be productive 150% of the time in order to be a good mother.’ Although, maybe not I’m not being the best’ I could be.
Jim I so appreciate your honesty and humility. I was born in the Appalacian mountains. There are many good people from Appalacia. However in my family many were steeped in superstition. I was horrified by some of the things I saw and witnessed as a child. I would cry out to God, so ashamed. I questioned God. I heard so many wonderful men and women of God talking about their godly heritage. I would cry out, why couldn’t I have been born into a family like that. When I was 4 years old I had heard a couple of songs and was singing with all my heart. I was alone in solitude. Jesus loves yes I know. And the Bible yes thats the book for me. I never felt love as a child. But I did know horrific abuse. As I was singing, suddenly for the first time in my life I felt encompassed with love. I heard someone speak to me. Now this is before I could read or write. This love filled voice said, When your father and mother forsake you then I will take you up. Years later while praying about my family.My dad was a coal miner. God showed me in a dream or vision, that between 3a.m. and 6a.m. his eyes and ears are open and evil is restrained. This is what I saw. God’s eyes were traveling the earth. There was this pile of blackened lumps of coal. Large and small. The tiniest, most insignificant one, was being jostled and pushed by the larger ones. The tiny lump was crying out, I don’t want to be a lump of coal. I don’t want to be like the rest. I don’t want to be covered with this blackened coal dust. God saw and heard. Reached down his hand and picked up the smallest lump, by his breath he blew away the coal dust. Then gently closing his hand he applied just the right amount of pressure.As his hand opened instead of a tiny lump of coal, a beautiful diamond glistened in his hand. His voice, you will be mine when I make up my jewels. God has helped me all my life. I have seen his goodness throughout my life. What I am trying to say, it doesn’t matter where we came from or how we started. It is the end of the race. The prize is before us. I listen to you Jim, all the time. I love you and Lori both. You are open and honest and I love you in the Lord.
Dear Jim:
Thanks for sharing your intermost feelings with us. I believe that I understand this lonliness thing. My son has turned away from me and refuses to forgive me for some things in past. When your children turn away from you – it is almost more than you can bare.
My son worked his way up from being an oil rig worker and he did work very hard. But now that he makes lots of money he has turned away from family the especially me. He professes to be a Christian and doesn’t deny God but he drinks, parties and is in love with his wealth.
When one of yours turns away from you, it is a feeling worse than death. I’m sure you know what I’m saying.
Thank you for this blog – it brought me to tears. I think of the scripture you have spoken of so much. When you mendtioned that in Hebrew God said that He would never, never, never leave us. Remember? What hope there is in that.
God Bless You,
B Harmon
The Trial of Your Faith (Pt. 11)
Dear Sir,
Thank you for making the distinction betweeen loneliness and Solitude clear.
The trial of my faith is certainly passed when I’m in solitude and feeling lonely, the despair creeping slowly towards me, then that prayer, Jesus, be with me, and he does!
Anywhere and anytime he is with us, which is our reward for being a good Christian.
Regarding being lonely,in Mark 4:10 KJV, after Jesus spoke to all the masses in parables, all of those people, thousands of them, then being alone after they left and being with just a few disciples, literally told them about the mysteries of heaven.
Those revelations of truth that we have been given also sir, in our lonely solitude, praying to the lord, because god really loves us.
Thank you sir,
God bless,
Stephen
Stoke-on-Trent
England
UK