“Jamie Charles Bakker was born December 18, 1975.” Jim was pretending to narrate a biography of his son.

The four of us— Jim and I, Jay and Amanda—were traveling from L.A. to Muskegon, Michigan, for the Bakker family reunion, and Jim was using the occasion to fill me in on some of the family history. Jim continued his story, but my mind stopped and focused on that date. December 18, 1975.

“Lori, you sure got quiet,” Jay said after a few minutes. “Are you carsick? Or just mesmerized by our life stories?” The others laughed.

“No, I…Sorry, Jay, I just had a major reality check when I heard your date of birth.” I swallowed hard. “You’re the same age my firstborn son would have been.” That realization had hit me like a ton of bricks. If I had carried my first pregnancy to term, the baby would have been born in late December ’75 or early January ’76.” I was looking at a flesh-and-blood son—soon to be my son, or at least my stepson—with his arm around his girlfriend, and he was the same age my firstborn would have been. “You guys could have been really good friends,” I said wistfully.

The moment passed awkwardly, Jay didn’t know what to say, and Jim simply looked sad. He reached over and took my hand. As much healing as I have had, the old, familiar grief can still reach out and squeeze my heart in a split second. IT doesn’t happen often, but when it does, it is very real. Every time I looked at Jay for the next few hours, I thought of the son I never had because of my own choices. Gradually those thoughts faded.

Such thoughts, while painful, no longer overwhelmed me because of a deep inner healing I had experienced in 1994. That event remains the single most precious moment of truth in my life.

…..more to come.

Joy Came in the Morning – Part 2
Joy Came in the Morning – Part 3
Joy Came in the Morning – Part 4

Many of you know my background in the 70’s and 80’s which has now become part of my testimony. I was a ‘party girl’ – living a wasted life of parties, drugs and rock ‘n roll. Enter God! When you are truly born again, God removes your appetite for such things, and then He transforms your mess into your message. You live to give Him the glory and praise for restoring your life and delivering you from a meaningless and hopeless existence and giving you purpose, passion and purity!

Yet, I will tell you outright that a religious (Pharisaical) spirit will keep you shackled with the shame of your past – when God has already set you free! I have only one reason to refer to the former things which God brought me out of into His redemptive life – to give glory to the Lord Who has the power to save, heal and deliver! Those may sound like “churchy” terms so let’s break them down.

Saved – Forgiven! Period. No more condemnation for I am in Christ Jesus. (Romans 8:1 There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus.)

Healed – All my hurts, hang-ups and bad habits – gone! He has given me beauty for ashes. Isaiah 61:
The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me,
Because the LORD has anointed me
To bring good news to the afflicted;
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
To proclaim liberty to captives
And freedom to prisoners;
To proclaim the favorable year of the LORD
And the day of vengeance of our God;
To comfort all who mourn,
To grant those who mourn in Zion,
Giving them a crown of beauty instead of ashes,
The oil of gladness instead of mourning,
The mantle of praise instead of a spirit of despair,
So they will be called oaks of righteousness,
The planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified.

Delivered – The Lord has now caused me to know that I can take the stick which the devil beat me with and use it on him instead! The Lord has given me an international ministry out of my testimony that will help to free others of the same shame and condemnation from which He freed me! The enemy can’t hurt me, shut me up, or sit me down with any kind of accusation ever again. I live and move and have my being in Jesus and in Him alone.

Lori is dead to what others say or think about my past; where I’ve been, what I’ve done and all the shame associated with it. As my Mom often says “It is what it is” – or in my case, I can say “it was what it was”! It is now my testimony and I am not ashamed.

Shame is much different than guilt. We feel guilty for what we do, whereas, we feel shame for who we are. I was guilty – but I’m forgiven. I am now a new creation – washed in His Blood and I’m free from shame! As an old, old hymn says “White as snow, white as snow, though my sins were as scarlet, Lord, I know, Lord, I know, that I’m clean and forgiven!”

If anyone brings an accusation against a born-again believer for things of the past, just remember that it’s not the person that’s on trial – it’s the Blood of Jesus! Does the Blood of Jesus make white as snow or doesn’t it? As an old gospel song says “The Blood Will Never Lose Its Power”.

I’m telling you – you who are reading right now at this moment – you who may have been born again for many years yet not free – there is freedom – there is deliverance – there is joy!

Don’t allow the enemy to keep you from complete restoration. Don’t give him that power. Don’t give place to shame or any tormenting spirit! Forgive others who have hurt you and forgive yourself for the harm you’ve done to your own soul. If you have asked for God’s forgiveness, accept that you have it! He will not withhold it from you as if He is waiting for you to make some sort of recompense. That’s what the Blood of Jesus did! He made restitution not only for our sin, but our shame!

In Revelations, it tells us how we overcome: by the Blood of the Lamb (saved!) and by the word of our testimony (healed and delivered)!

Be humble – yet bold in your testimony, and open your mouth and sing, pray, and declare His great salvation! Give God the Glory for the things He has done!

When Jesus met the woman at the well, He knew she had a very ‘checkered’ past. Yet the love He poured out on her that day was to save, heal and deliver her! There was, no doubt, awful things that had hurt her tremendously in her relationships with 5 former husbands! Shameful indeed! And religion would never let her forget it or be free of it! Yet, after she encountered Jesus, she ran to the city with a testimony of His love and healing and declared “he told me all that I had ever done”! His great love had delivered her of her guilt and shame!

When Jesus comes into your life and saves you, then heals you, then delivers you of shame, you will never live in silent bondage again. Be free! Free to live and to dance and to testify of Him! Give God all the glory for what He has done!

If you haven’t heard this song by Mary, Mary, please look it up and play it today!

I’ll be dancing with you.

Love,

“Shackles (Praise You)”

Take the shackles off my feet so I can dance
I just wanna praise you
(What’cha wanna do?)
I just wanna praise you
(Yeah, yeah)
You broke the chains now I can lift my hands
(Uh feel me?)
And I’m gonna praise you
(What’cha gon do?)
I’m gonna praise you

In the corners of mind
I just can’t seem to find a reason to believe
That I can break free
Cause you see I have been down for so long
Feel like the hope is gone
But as I lift my hands, I understand
That I should praise you through my circumstance

Take the shackles off my feet so I can dance
I just wanna praise you
I just wanna praise you
You broke the chains now I can lift my hands
And I’m gonna praise you
I’m gonna praise you

Everything that could go wrong
All went wrong at one time
So much pressure fell on me
I thought I was gonna lose my mind
But I know you wanna see
If I will hold on through these trials
But I need you to lift this load
Cause I can’t take it anymore

Take the shackles off my feet so I can dance
I just wanna praise you
I just wanna praise you
You broke the chains now I can lift my hands
And I’m gonna praise you
I’m gonna praise you

Been through the fire and the rain
Bound in every kind of way
But God has broken every chain
So let me go right now

Take the shackles off my feet so I can dance
I just wanna praise you
I just wanna praise you
You broke the chains now I can lift my hands
And I’m gonna praise you
I’m gonna praise you
[repeat x3]

Take them off
What’cha gonna do, yeah

Take the shackles off my feet so I can dance
I just wanna praise you
I just wanna praise you
You broke the chains now I can lift my hands
And I’m gonna praise you
I’m gonna praise you

Women have strengths that amaze men.

They bear hardships and they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy.

They smile when they want to scream.

They sing when they want to cry.

They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous.

They fight for what they believe in.

They stand up to injustice.

They don’t take “no” for an answer when they believe there is a better solution.

They go without so their family can have.

They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.

They love unconditionally.

They cry when their children excel, and cheer when their friends get awards.

They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding.

Their hearts break when a friend dies.

They grieve at the loss of a family member yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.

They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart.

Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.

They’ll drive, fly, walk, run or email you to show how much they care about you.

The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning.

They bring joy, hope and love.

They have compassion and ideas.

They give moral support to their family and friends.

Women have vital things to say and everything to give.

HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN, IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.

“I am a Disciple”

The following is one of my all-time favorite declarations. We, as Christians, cannot be lukewarm. Either our passion is present to witness of Him, or we will be spewed out of His mouth according to this scripture:

Revelation 3:16: So, because you are lukewarm–neither hot nor cold–I am about to spit you out of my mouth.

Let’s all make this declaration together today and ask God to stir up our passion for Him.

“I am a Disciple”

I am a disciple of Jesus Christ.

I am part of the fellowship of the unashamed. I have Holy Spirit power.
The die has been cast. I’ve stepped over the line

The love of God controls me. The decision has been made. I’m a disciple
of His. I won’t look back, let up, slow down, or back away.

My past is redeemed. My present makes sense. My future is secure.

I’m finished and done with low living, sight walking, small planning,
smooth and ease, colorless dreams, mundane talking, cheap giving, and
dwarfed roles.

I no longer need prosperity, position, promotion, preeminence, or
popularity.

I don’t have to be right, first, tops, recognized, praised, regarded, or
rewarded.

I now live by faith, lean on His presence, walk in patience, live by
prayer, and labor with power.

My face is set. My gait is fast. My goal is the Kingdom of God. My road
is narrow. My way is rough. My companions few. My guide reliable. My
mission clear.

I cannot be bought, compromised, detoured, lured away, turned back,
deluded or delayed.

I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of
adversaries, negotiate at the pool of popularity, or meander in the maze of
mediocrity.

I won’t give up, shut up, let up until I’ve stayed up, stored up, prayed
up, paid up, spoken up, for the cause of Christ.

I must go until He comes, give until I drop, teach until all know, run
until He stops me.

I am a disciple of Jesus Christ

Have you ever tried to compare yourself with women of the Bible? I have, but I never measure up to such “greats” as Ruth, Esther, Sarah or Mary, the mother of Jesus. I identify more with the woman Jesus met at the well, the other Mary, Mary Magdalene, or the woman caught in the act of adultery – yes, all the “scarlet women”.

Thank God for Isaiah 1:18! This scripture is an Old Testament forecast of what happens when Jesus’ blood is applied to our sins. The “scarlet” and “crimson” in this verse refer to the double-dye process used to permanently color fabric in Bible days – to make white wool such a deep red, the color would not fade, no matter how many times it was washed.

This is how I felt. No matter how many showers I took, I could not clean myself up. My sin had become permanent, destroying my life. At the age of 14 I fell into a life of sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll. Longing for love and acceptance I married at 17; but instead of cherishing and nurturing me, my husband physically and emotionally abused me. The woman at the well had five husbands; by the time I was 22, I had had five abortions. My life was more like that of the woman, caught in the “very act” of adultery, whom the scribes and the Pharisees brought to Jesus, than like that of a woman of God. I did not feel worthy to come to Jesus. In no way did I feel like a “woman of destiny”.

On Easter Sunday, 1989, I wandered into a wonderful church and heard the pastor tell me that I could be forgiven and saved by grace; I didn’t have to do it myself. That day my sins, which were permanently double-dyed like scarlet, became white as snow. And for the next ten years, I went through God’s training program, conducted by the people of the church. Little did I know that God was preparing me to speak to millions of women and that I would be an instrument to help heal their scars from abortion, drugs, and sinful living. Nor did I know that He was also preparing me to be the wife of Jim Bakker. But I’m beginning to learn that broken and wounded people make the best healers.

Women of Destiny, Jesus can do the same for you. One of the most awesome Scriptures, and one of my favorites is: “And you, who once were alienated and enemies in your mind by wicked works, yet now He has reconciled in the body of His flesh through [Christ’s death on the cross], to present you holy, and blameless, and above reproach in His sight” (Col. 1:21, 22). Yes, Jesus will heal your sin and make you holy, blameless, and above reproach thorough His blood, not your works. No matter what you have done, when you seek and accept the Lord’s forgiveness, you are clean. You are made whiter than snow! Jesus makes life new! Believe it and receive it!

Do you believe in destiny? I do. I have often marveled at the fact that God chose you and me to live in this specific time in the history of the world. We could have been born in any century or any millennium, but He chose this amazing time; what we now know is the last of the last days before He returns, for you and me to be alive. It is not happenstance. It is not coincidence. We are here right now because we are destined to be.

How do I know that? Because the God I serve is the Alpha and the Omega – the God who knows the beginning and the end. He knew Adam and Abraham and Moses and David. He knew Eve and Deborah and Ruth and Esther. Each had a time and a purpose for their lives, and so do you and I. He knew you would read this very blog, and He came via Lori today to tell you that you are born with a purpose and a destiny unto Him!

God knew that Lori Graham Bakker would be born in 1957 and He knew that I would answer the call to love and serve Him. Throughout my life, I always knew He was with me and felt His spirit hovering over me, even in the worst of my rebellion. That may sound strange to some of you, but it is ever so true. He never left me; He was never far from me. His hand was on me even in my sin, and His voice was always there too.

I could hear Him gently calling me, “Lori, what are you doing? Turn around. Come home to Me. I love you and I will never leave you or forsake you. You are My delight. I adore you. My love for you is lasting. My love for you is eternal. The world cannot love you like I do. What you are looking for is not in these things. I alone will satisfy the deepest desires of your heart. Come home to me, and I will give you rest, peace and purpose.”

My natural mind couldn’t wrap itself around a God who loved me while I was rebellious and willfully sinning. I couldn’t understand how God could possibly use anything I had to give. Little did I know then that my testimony of those rebellious years would help many others to find their way back to Him.

Today, I know the significance of the Times, and I know He is using every willing vessel to harvest souls.

Sometimes the Lord will speak to you directly, and sometimes He will use others to get through to you. Queen Esther is often used as an example of destiny. The most quoted verse regarding her life in the history of the world refers to her having lived “for such a time as this”. That verse sounds wonderful, doesn’t it? She was called on by God to accomplish a great mission: saving her people from annihilation! Talk about purpose!

Esther had a purpose and a destiny, but she could have said no to it all. In fact, she thought about saying no, but thought again after her uncle, Mordecai gave her a stern warning: “For if you remain completely silent at this time, relief and deliverance will arise for the Jews from another place, but you and your father’s house will perish. Yet who knows whether you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this?”

We have each come to the kingdom for such a time as this and we have a divine destiny. In this day of all the talk about “purpose”, it’s never been more important to understand that we are all here by His choosing to live in this day; the last of the last days, to fulfill a divine purpose. That purpose begins with our answer to His call.

And my answer will be “Yes, Lord, Yes”!

It’s a privilege to serve Him in any century, but it’s amazing when you understand your place in history (His Story).

Mom and Dad were watching TV when Mom said, “I’m tired, and it’s getting late. I think I’ll go to bed.”

She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the next day’s lunches, rinsed out the popcorn bowls, took meat out of the freezer for supper the following evening, checked the cereal box levels, filled the sugar container, put spoons and bowls on the table and started the coffee pot for brewing the next morning.

She then put some wet clothes into the dryer, put a load of clothes into the wash, ironed a shirt and secured a loose button. She picked up the newspapers strewn on the floor, picked up the game pieces left on the table and put the telephone book back into the drawer. She watered plants, emptied a wastebasket and hung up a towel to dry.

She yawned and stretched and headed for the bedroom. She stopped by the desk and wrote a note to the teacher, counted out some cash for the field trip, and pulled a textbook out from hiding under the chair. She signed a birthday card for a friend, addressed and stamped the envelope and wrote a quick note for the grocery store. She put both near her purse.

Mom then washed her face, put on moisturizer, brushed and flossed her teeth and trimmed her nails. Hubby called, “I thought you were going to bed.”

“I’m on my way,” she said.

When I was two months old, my parents proudly took me to our family church to be dedicated to God. Before the pastor prayed over me, he uttered words my parents felt were prophetic: “This little girl has been born to be a bulwark against sin and the devil.”

Fourteen years later, my life was anything but a bulwark or defense against evil. By 22, I was a hopeless drug addict. The little girl who carried a baby doll with her at all times by then had experienced five abortions and a complete hysterectomy.

I was angry with God, though I knew it was my own rebellion that took my dreams away. To fill the hurt and void I went deeper into alcohol and drugs, and at 27 ended an abusive marriage through divorce. I felt so sinful and hopeless that God would not hear my prayers.

Do you feel like your prayers hit the ceiling? The enemy of your soul reminds you of your sins and says you are not good enough for God to hear your prayers. Can you identify with David when he cried, “How long, O Lord? Will You forget me forever? How long will You hide Your face from me?” (Ps. 13:1).

God is not playing some high-stakes hiding game with us. In fact, He says in Hebrews 13:5, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” My husband showed me the meaning of never in Greek as used in this verse. He suggested the verse should read like this: “I will never, not at all, by no means, in no case, not ever, not at all in any wise leave you, and I will never, not at all, by no means, in no case, not ever, not at all in any wise forsake you.” It is settled in heaven and in the mind of God. He will never leave you!

At 31, my night turned into day when God’s light of salvation came into my life. Perhaps you feel in the dark, in a situation so awful you can’t solve it and God doesn’t see you. I have good news: Jesus has come right now and He’s caused you to read my letter. “The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down” (Ps. 145:14). When you are down, when heaven feels like brass, and the enemy is whispering in your ear, proclaim Micah 7:8.

What you are going through now may mean God is teaching you, getting you ready for a special work. Hebrews 12:6-8 proclaims: “For whom the Lord loves He chastens, and scourges every son whom He receives.’ If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten? But if you are without chastening…then you are illegitimate and not sons.” All God’s children must go through times of training. The Word declares that even the trial of our faith is more precious than gold (see 1 Pet. 1:7).

I have been put back together, forgiven of all my sins, delivered from drugs and alcohol, given a wonderful home, husband, and a ministry beyond my wildest dream.

Woman of Destiny, your time has come – you will arise!