I grew up in church. I went to services several times a week, always attended special campmeetings and revivals, and went to all the Summer youth camps. I could have been the poster child for Sunday School.
I don’t remember exactly when it started, but I can recall beginning to really take notice of how people in the church behaved. I’m talking about people of all ages, some young, some old. And I have to tell you that what I saw was not pretty. In fact, some of it was downright revolting. I became disillusioned with all the hypocrisy I saw. And the worst part about it was that I felt judged by some of these people! It really hurt to feel judged by people I couldn’t respect.
Well, as a lot of teenagers do, I used that knowledge as an excuse to rebel. I rebelled against all types of authority; my parents, school, and especially the church. I wanted nothing to do with ‘those people’. I thought “if this is the way the church acts, then I don’t want to be a part of it.” I lived off that philosophy and it served me well in my rebellious life. I used it for an excuse to turn away from God too. Now I could do whatever I chose and didn’t have to consider the way I was raised… so I thought.
Years and years went by with my life going from bad to worse. Most of you know my story – many years of drugs, physical abuse, abortion, and infidelity brought me to a place of emptiness like I’ve never known.
From time to time during the rebellious years, I had heard the Lord’s voice saying “Lori, I’m here, I love you, Come home!” It was true that if you train up a child in the way they should go, when they are older they will not depart from it!
So, it was on Easter Sunday, 1989 that I decided it was time to go home. But, going back to Jesus, for me, meant going back to church, and I have to tell you that I was scared to death to go back to church. I remembered those people from long ago that I considered hypocrites and I was terrified that I would be rejected.
But, guess what? Not even one person said one negative thing to me about my past. They embraced me and received me with open arms! I had nothing but love showered on me from my church, and I was back where I belonged!
Today, I feel like there are so many out there that are afraid to come back to Jesus because of negative experiences with people in the church. They want Jesus, but don’t trust ‘church people’. Don’t be afraid. Jesus wants you to come home today. People may let you down from time to time, but Jesus never will. Don’t let what people may do or not do keep you from God! Give him you heart and come home. Forgive those who hurt you and come home!
Say this prayer with me today:
Lord, I know you are standing at the door knocking. I am going to open that door to my heart today so that you can come in. I’m sorry that I walked away and that I’ve been gone so long, but I miss you Jesus, I really do. I’m sorry for not living according to your Word. Please forgive me. I love you, Lord, and I want you in my heart. Clean me up, Lord. Help me to get anything out of me that is not like You. Show me how to love again – the way You loved me and never left me. I want to come home to you today.
D. WHITE ….I AGREE…SO SAD…SO BLIND. YET, JESUS NEVER LEFT US
HE WAS THERE ALL THE TIME..WAITING FOR US TO GIVE HIM OUR ALL.
WHILE HE DEVIL PLAYED HIS DECEIVING GAMES …USING GOOD AND BAD
PEOPLE…. I PUT MY ARMS AROUND YOU IN CHRIST IN A SUPERNATURAL
HUG. THERE ARE NEW AWAKENINGS IN EACH STATE OF USA. PLSE ASK
THIS MINISTRY FOR A REFERAL IN YOUR AREA. A PLACE WHERE GOD HAS
OPENED THE DOOR WITH PEOPLE WHO NEEDED TRUE LOVE AND 2ND/THIRD/FOUTH
CHANCES…… AND THEY PRAISE AND WORSHIP WITH OPEN ARMS TO HIM AND TO YOU. EXAMPLE: REV. RICK JOINER MINISTRIES OR NEW DAY OF HP.,ETC.
LOVE ONE NO ONE UNDERSTANDS BUT OUR SAVIOR, JESUS CHRIST. SMILE
I was raised in church. I was also raised in a horrible and dysfunctional family where I survived my mother’s 2 abortion attempts and how she starved herself the remainder of her pregnancy with me and I was delivered by her 50 years ago this Wed. She was 22 pounds lighter after carrying me not quite 8.5 months. Her husband knew I did not belong to him so I became a very handy “whipping boy” for all their frustrations in life. I suffered every kind of abuse you can as a child. He started giving me “baths” at age 6 and at 11, on the way home from church he molested me for the first time and once home he raped me. She worked nights and he worked days and they weekends were awful when because they were both home. Yet in their defense they had all of us in church every time the doors were open! We took two cars to church on Wed. and Sunday nights (because she worked nights and would leave for work right after church) and he raped every Wed. and every Sunday night because he knew for sure he had plenty of time. This continued until I was just shy of 14. They separated and later divorced. I turned 16 and left home because I could without being caught and brought back and because things were unbearable. I was saved at 8 and filled with the Holy Spirit at 12. If it had not been for the weekly summer camps in Rocky Mount Missouri I doubt if I would have survived my childhood. There was no one to talk about what was happening, this was in the l970’s and no one was talking about “abuse” of any kind then. I returned to the little church in the small town I had been raised in after turning 18…but was not well received. The Christians of that church came to me one by one after the service and wanted to know why I dropped out of high school??? One remarked that I smelled like smoke…and didn’t I know better than to smoke cigarettes??? One more lady approached me and asked me how I could disappoint my parents by leaving home and living a sinful life?? I left after that question and wept for 3 days, because I had needed those people. But mostly, I needed God and yet that was the reception I stumbled into. I have had a very hard life and tried to incorporate Jesus, and the Holy Spirit back into my life. But…going to church is very scary to me. I have been hurt over and over by Christians. There has been a storm that hit our family in 2009 that is still on going that I would never have seen coming. Churches are filled with people who say so many wonderful things…but when it comes right down to it…they allow hurting people to come in to the church suffering, in pain destroyed etc…and they brush past you quickly hoping that you don’t ask for prayer, don’t reach out to “them” for help and hardly notice that you and your trail of tears have left the building. They do notice when the tithe checks stop…but when they email you —
(they don’t go visit people anymore and they certainly wouldn’t want to get on the phone and actually have to listen to you and your situation…)
to find out if you have indeed stopped supporting the church they still offer no help, no humanity involvement…nothing. Then I go back to God and ask why? Where are your disciples? Where are the Shepherds? Where are your hands and your arms because I need them??
I am glad others have had such a good outcome…can speak of hope and describe how wonderful everything turned out. That is not how my story ends. I am so gutted, so wounded, so hollowed out that empty would feel better than how hollow I feel.
This is my year of Jubilee…on the eve of The Feasts of Trumpets I turn 50. I don’t expect you to do anything for me…but when you all pray, please pray for all of us who feel forgotten, thrown aside and cast down. There are many, many more people who story sounds and ends like mine than the church wants to believe, hear or deal with. God help us all….
Dear D:
I am so sorry you have experienced this in the church. I am also appalled. Things like this shouldn’t be… and I am standing with you for complete restoration and for your Jubilee year! God is able to restore all things to you that were stolen. You are not alone. We are praying for you!
Love,
Lori
Lori..you were so blessed to have these people welcome you..I feel that the Lord is calling people all over to come back to Him….I feel it so strongly that revival is going to break out and really be incredibly awesome. I need to be ready to help in the harvest of souls and I think the reason so much has happened in my life recently is to get me prepared for this . I have had a few of the most difficult months in my life, my father died at 88 after a terrible illness, my husband walked out on me..he just said he does not want to be with me and anytime I had christian programs on he got angry and made fun of it. I was also diagnosed with cancer in March. I had the surgery and radiation and now am supposed to be on a chemo type drug for 5 years. I refuse to turn from God..and when I said I am yours Lord I meant it with all my heart. I came to the Lord in 1978…and it has been an adventure.There are no perfect churches because churches are made up of people and there are no perfect people. I was also wounded in the “church” in 1987, it really shaked me up but thank God I was grounded in what I believed and why. God can take any of the things we endure and work them for good…my life verse is Romans 8:28 too Lori….I like that verse and the verses to the end of the chapter really encourage me and give me strength to know that nothing can separate us from the love of God…that is so comforting and a blessing that He has given us to help us stand in these times of strife and tribulation . Christians are under attack ,but our God is stronger …I am praying for revival to break out and I want to be part of the harvest in this time..an awesome time to be alive…May God bless you and Jim and your family, thank you for being faithful to the call of God…((hugs)) love you ….Myrtle aka MyMy in the I family..
I am an adult male Christian, age 62. I “identify with” Lori’s experience of hypocrites in the church. But the reason? I’ve been saved 45 years, since 1966 when saved as a teen, and my conviction is growing that the reason for hypocrites in church is PRIMARILY:
ONE—ignorant, wimpy pastors who preach a weak, man-centered “gospel”, all love, no holiness or justice in God;
weak, shallow gospel, if any. Little preaching on sin, repentance & LORDSHIP of Christ!…and their ‘preaching’ includes, as you have said, brother Jim…..”HAPPY CHURCH” theology, methdology & preaching! This is FILLING our churches with worldlings & unsaved!!!
TWO — incomplete, weak, too-brief invitations….little counseling, all settled in 4 minutes or less – – “sign this card & you’re in!” —
this is horrible ‘soul counsel’ !! We are trying to undo years or DECADES of false teaching/beliefs..and explain the most important thing in the universe to them…but the ‘invitation’ is only 3-4 minutes and the pastor wants the “card” before the invitation song is over?? This is insane, absurd and an outrage….what are pastors thinking???
THREE — membership in churches is far too QUICK & easy…we’ve let in a tidal wave of unsaved…hordes & multitudes of unsaved…then we EXPECT them to be consistent & holy? Membership classes, counseling, this USED to be done…but now it is just “quickie-ism” salvation…and it lets in MULTITUDES of unregenerates and has RUINED our churches!
GOD BLESS YOU, BROTHER JIM and SISTER LORI!!!
My own children saw so much that was not right in the church. It
had a very negative effect on them. When I was growing through
some rough times, I asked the Lord, where are the christians. I
was seeing judgement, criticism, I was not seeing Christ in them.
I felt like giving up. I was working in a grocery store, a far
cry from my former life where I was often a speaker for child abuse.
So discouraged, losing hope and then a bagger bagging my groceries
began singing those wonderful spiritual songs. In shock I turned
and looked into the eyes of a man, I could see Christ again. David is
with the Lord now, but he had a profound effect on me. Let us have
that same effect, not the negative, but the positive. Reaching out to
the hurting in their affliction is one of the greatest Christian ministries. Everyone is your friend when you are on top but when you
are in the pit, noone except the true Christian will reach out a hand
to pull you out. By this shall all men know you are my disciples, if you have love for the brethern. God Bless