Private moments made public – they happen a lot in large families, and it helps to keep a sense of humor when it does! One such moment happened recently when I was going about my daily business with routine household tasks, thinking the house was empty. I was meditating on the Lord and all that He has called Jim and me to do, and I guess I was talking to myself when I heard a voice from the other room:
“Mom, who are you talking to?
“Mom, is there somebody in there with you?”
I sheepishly replied that I was indeed alone, a fact that ordinarily was no big deal… except when you are caught red-handed having a full-out conversation with… ahem, yourself.
Now, in my own defense, I contend that there are some very good reasons to talk to yourself; even Biblical ones.
When Rabbi Cahn was with us recently, he was teaching us about “encouraging yourself in the Lord.” Right before “The Harbinger” was published and the world became aware and forewarned about what happens when we turn our backs on God, calamity struck in the Rabbi’s congregation. His building was completely flooded, rendering it unusable. But he remembered the scripture: “When the enemy shall come in like a flood, the Spirit of the LORD shall lift up a standard against him.” Isaiah 59:19
The standard that the Spirit of the Lord raised through the Rabbi was the same as it was with King David in so many instances where it appeared that all was lost; David encouraged himself in the Lord! So many of the Psalms are David crying out to his own soul: “Bless the Lord, O’ my soul, and forget not all His benefits” and “Why are you cast down, O’ my soul, and why are you upset? Hope in the Lord!” paraphrased.
There are times when I am very strong and confident, usually on days that I’m feeling well and I’m well-rested. And then sometimes when I’m completely exhausted, or not feeling well, or something has just gone terribly wrong in the ministry, every negative thought imaginable washes over me like a flood, and I descend into a negativity that ultimately ends in “I quit!”
Obviously and thankfully, I don’t stay there for long.
I know I present a fairly brave face to the public and to our television audience, but believe me, there are times when I am not all that. I’m pretty sure that you have times like that too! So, I’m just “keeping it real” and letting you know what I do when I feel overcome with the pressures of life and the strategies of my enemy who hates what Jim and I are doing for the Kingdom.
Sometimes you have to speak faith and life to yourself, especially in the midst of an attack of the enemy that comes against the purpose and calling YOU KNOW God has given you! Speaking life is a lot different than positive self-talk. Speaking life incorporates Biblical principles that are given in the Word of God. You can never go wrong talking to yourself in Psalms, and hymns, and praise to God from your heart (Ephesians 5:19).
Well, that’s exactly what one of my children “caught” me doing in my closet! Yes, I was talking to myself – but with a purpose!
I guess that’s not such a bad thing to be “caught” doing.
Love,
Dear Lori and Sisters , isn’t this the most wonderful thing to be talking to our truest Friend ?I asked him about a connection I had misplaced ,and I asked Jesus to show me where it is .He did direct my thoughts to where it could be and within 2 hours I found it .Halleluja !this and many other times ,He is so close to you and me !!
Thank you Lori for being so honest. I too get caught talking out loud. But I am usually praising God or declaring His word against the enemy. Or asking God to help me get through the tough days with gratefulness. And I don’t have a ministry. I can’t imagine the comments people make.
T Dear Lori Thank you so much for your messages and your ministries.
The same thing happened to me while I was in my car. I was talking with the Lord and I caught the attention of another driver who looked on, stunned to see me talking to myself. I didn’t look like someone talking on my cell phone! It was a little embarrassing. Lol 🙂
I know just how you feel. I put on a brave face also and part of me wants to hide these issues from the non believing world because I don’t feel like I’m being a good enough witness. I know that believers will face persecution but non believers just don’t understand it and I don’t want them to look on and be put off from christianity because of me and my struggles.
Lori – the enemy hates when we praise the Lord. If you’re feeling persecuted then just continue to praise Him and I can bet the enemy won’t stick around for that 🙂 Remember Paul and Silas who were in prison praising God, despite their tribulation. Praise!! 🙂
God Bless You Lori, I Talk To My Jesus out loud all the time, for I know old satan can’t stand that, so keep up the good work.
Thank you Lori for sharing that, I think out loud alot and I believe my Jesus loves that about me, even if there are folks who might think it strange. So I for one, will just keep praising and thanking my Lord out loud and am happy to know that you do the same. God Bless You!!!!
Oh Boy…and I thought I was probably mentally impaired…I talk to Jesus all the time and each time he guides me or directs me in the right way..I thank Him…He is definitely my best friend!…I don’t think I could make the day without singing and praising…and talking to Jesus…thanks for letting us all know that we aren’t the only ones.
There is no choice between us. Do you think it was pride (oh no) that you were embarrassed? At least that’s what it is with me. It’s such a relief to be real isn’t it. You are loved. Blessings and Shalom.
Lori, everyone does that at one time or another and I think each of us gets caught by our kids or someone , in the act. LOL ! Happens to me at least once a month !
ALL so true!! I to get “caught in the closet” so to speak. I talk to the LORD all the time, like he is in the room with me….my hubby always catches me….I just say…”Ye-e-e-s, Dear!!!!” And actually it makes me feel SO good to carry on a conversation with THE LORD in a room. Thank you Lori for ALL you do…YOU and JIM are fantastic all around. You both are a very needed thing each and every morning in our lives.
What a wonderful…and true…post! I usually feel so bad about myself after I become doubtful and negative! Thank you for sharing and reminding us that we don’t have to stay in that place! We must encourage ourselves in the Lord! Love and blessings
Thanks for sharing with us Lori. It helps us to know others also face challenges and we’re not alone in finding ourselves discouraged or exhausted at times. I’ve found that besides prayer, I have to engage in all the five senses at times to get to feeling and thinking better faster. Bless you.
I talk to the Lord out loud all the time, especially in the car when I am alone (my kids think I’m nuts). You are awesome and I know you don’t always feel awesome, none of us do. Just know that you are loved because you always come across to me as a real person, just like the rest of us. You inspire me to be the best wife and mom I can be.
Hi Lori. Thank you for your blog post. I’m glad I’m not the only person who puts on a brave face to the world. Sometimes, when I see what is happening in the world, even though I have faith in yeshua (Jesus), I still get scared. I pray that The Lord gives us a spirit of courage and for strength in the coming days.