Category Archives: Marriage

Dr. Gary Smalley, Champion to Marriage and Family Passes on to Heaven

“Life is relationships; the rest is just details.”   Gary Smalley

The PTL Television Network, Jim Bakker Show, the Bakker family and all of us here at Morningside are praying today for the friends and family of a wonderful man, Dr. Gary Smalley who passed into heaven over the weekend in Colorado Springs, Colorado.    

Dr. Smalley devoted his professional life to guiding others in repairing marriages that were all but broken.  He and his beautiful wife Norma began an organization devoted to families and to the intimate and heartfelt ministry of developing good and solid marriages in 1979.  Their organization eventually evolved into retreat centers in 10 different cities.

Gary’s heart was to educate and inspire couples to love better and last a life-time!  But, even with the thousands of couples that he has helped through his retreat centers, counseling, speaking engagements and books, he spoke proudest of his two wonderful sons, Greg and Mike, his beautiful daughter Kari, and the amazing families they are raising. Every single day, there was never a doubt that he was completely aware of the love and blessings he had with the light of his life, his wife Norma.

Gary Smalley became one of the country’s best-known authors and speakers on family relationships. He is the author and co-author of 60 books along with several popular films and videos. He has spent over 35 years learning, teaching, and counseling. In a heartfelt post on facebook a friend wrote these words,  

“For the zillions profoundly impacted by Gary & Norma Smalley’s ministry and all those who have resurrected & salvaged dead-end relationships…and for those who just want to know how to do relationships right….this will be a loss heard around the world for decades to come.”

According to a post by his daughter on her facebook page, Dr. Smalley’s last days were spent surrounded by his loving family. The last words spoken over him were “The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you;”  Numbers 6:24-25

According to an article in Christian News Today, a celebration of life will take place Saturday, March 19 at 3:00 p.m. at College of the Ozarks Chapel in Point Lookout, Missouri. It will be open to the public for all who wish to honor Smalley’s life and legacy.

Our hearts and prayers are with Dr. Smalley’s family and friends but we also feel the joy of knowing that he is where love begins and ends, held within God’s loving arms.  

 

Marriage (Pt. 4)

My years of ministry in Master’s Commission had prepared me for whatever might come my way… or so I thought.  When I met Jim and fell in love with him and then married him shortly after, there were many challenges I had to face and overcome.  Some of the challenges had to do with who Jim was, what had happened to him, and Jim’s high-profile life.

I was instantly catapulted into the life of the famous, or in Jim’s case, infamous to many.  I had always had lots of friends but I also had a side of me that was private.  There were things that only God and I shared, some things that I shared with a few close companions, and some things I shared with family and friends.  But I had always been able to choose how much of my life I would broadcast and to whom.  That is, until I married Jim.  I found out very quickly that Jim’s method of “full disclosure” would be my best modus operandi. Continue reading →

Marriage (Pt. 3)

By the spring of 1989, I was getting my life together.  The ten-year nightmare of my ill-advised marriage was over.  I had recommitted my life to Christ, joined Master’s Commission, and began this wonderful life of living and ministering for Jesus.  I had been in ministry for several years when I met Jim at the Dream Center in L.A.

Shortly after I met Jim and we had our first date, both of us knew that it was far more than a date; we were already falling in love.  And we knew that it was God bringing this love into our lives at the very time both of us had just about given up on ever finding love again. Continue reading →

Marriage (Pt. 2)

During all the drama of my first marriage, I can still remember the times when the Spirit of God had wooed me.  He never left me, even in the midst of my rebellion.  There were times I would be high on drugs, and I could feel the Holy Spirit hovering over me, protecting me and shielding me from the agenda of the enemy – to steal, kill and destroy my life.  That may fly in the face of some religious thought out there, but it was true never-the-less.

Through His mercy, kindness and long-suffering, the Lord drew me back to Himself.  Though I had known Him as a child, I had not lived for Him in a very long time.  So when I committed to Him again in my late twenties, it was almost as if I had no idea how to live this new life.  I didn’t know how to be ‘religious’ and didn’t like ‘churchy’ things or people.  Yet all things were new and nothing of the past held any draw for me anymore.  Now divorced with a very checkered past, I knew only that my life was redeemed, and that was more than enough! Continue reading →

Marriage (Pt. 1)

In my book, “More Than I Could Ever Ask”, I tell all the details about my first husband whom I chose for all the wrong reasons, none of which had anything to do with God.  When I met him, I was very young and naive and my ability to make good decisions was not yet mature.  Add to that the influence of drugs and you have a recipe for disaster and that is what happened.  The choices I made as a young woman led to 10 years of hell and heartache.

Remember the old Frank Sinatra song “I Did It My Way”?  It sounded really great to the generation that was being raised to indulge in the world and all of its pleasure.  We heard things like “go for the gusto” and “you only live once” and we bought it.  We bought the lie that we had a right to sinful lusts and worldly living that the Bible says brings pleasure for a season, but eventually brings death.  We bought the world’s philosophy of “self fulfillment”. Continue reading →

On Marriage, Motherhood and Ministry

My readers often ask me how I do it – how I manage marriage, motherhood and ministry all at the same time.  The short answer is “I don’t” and the long answer is “He gives me grace”.  Though a book could be written on each aspect of my life and someday, probably will, today I want to start addressing these topics in little bites on my blog.  You’ve heard the expression “How do you eat an elephant” and most of us know that the only way you can do that is “one bite at a time”.  So, that’s how we’re going to start to cover these topics… a little at a time.

I will begin with a little background on where I came from and my thoughts about where I’m going.  I will always be completely open and transparent about everything because I believe that people are looking for other REAL people, not people wearing masks or personas.  The Lord knows we have enough of those kind of people!  When I’ve opened up like this in the past, some have said that it’s just TMI (too much information) and I need not tell every little detail of my life!  Continue reading →

A Good Heart

When Jim and I married, we had both lived a long time on this earth and a lot of history had been written in our lives before we came together as husband and wife.  So, there was much to learn about each other!

As with most people when they fall in love and begin to realize they are moving toward a life-long commitment, we would sometimes talk into the night – hour upon hour – just trying to ‘get to know’ one another.  The truth is, we are still learning! Continue reading →

A Good Heart

When Jim and I married, we had both lived a long time on this earth and a lot of history had been written in our lives before we came together as husband and wife.  So, there was much to learn about each other!

As with most people when they fall in love and begin to realize they are moving toward a life-long commitment, we would sometimes talk into the night – hour upon hour – just trying to ‘get to know’ one another.  The truth is, we are still learning!

After we had been married a while, I remember reading a story told by a man who had worked for Jim at PTL for ten years.  He drove a bulldozer and helped to clear PTL land for development.  He recounted that when he and Jim were clearing trees from some remote acres of PTL property to build campsites and bunkhouses, Jim discovered an elderly black couple living in a shack just off the edge of the property.

The man had only one arm and his wife was bedridden.  They didn’t have running water.  The man was cutting wood with a chain saw with his one hand, and they used that wood in a stove to cook their meals.

Without saying anything, Jim had a new trailer pulled in for them to live in.  Then, he had the trailer hooked up to a septic tank and had a well drilled for them so that they would have running water.

Nothing told me more about Jim’s heart than that story.

Matthew 12:35, “A good man out of the good treasure of His heart brings forth good things.”

Some of us need to mine the treasures in the hearts of our loved ones more often.  We need to dig deep and remember the good things that flow out of the hearts of the ones we love.

It’s all too easy to let life’s everyday pressures make us callous to the real heart of a person.  Recall something good about your loved one today.

Phillipians 4:8:  “Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.”

Marriage (Pt. 4)

My years of ministry in Master’s Commission had prepared me for whatever might come my way… or so I thought.  When I met Jim and fell in love with him and then married him shortly after, there were many challenges I had to face and overcome.  Some of the challenges had to do with who Jim was, what had happened to him, and Jim’s high-profile life.

I was instantly catapulted into the life of the famous, or in Jim’s case, infamous to many.  I had always had lots of friends but I also had a side of me that was private.  Continue reading →

Marriage (Pt. 2)

During all the drama of my first marriage, I can still remember the times when the Spirit of God had wooed me.  He never left me, even in the midst of my rebellion.  There were times I would be high on drugs, and I could feel the Holy Spirit hovering over me, protecting me and shielding me from the agenda of the enemy – to steel, kill and destroy my life.  That may fly in the face of some religious thought out there, but it was true never-the-less. Continue reading →