Motherhood (Pt. 3)

I thought of another Bible verse I had memorized: “I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten.” God was doing that in my life, giving back the years I had lost because of my sin and rebellion. He had done it in several areas already.

Having made the choice to have five abortions, I lost the opportunity to ever have children. Yet God had blessed me with many spiritual offspring—like “my girls,” Kelli, Nicks, Morgan, Nina, and Michelle Murillo. He’d given me an inner-city family—Margie’s family—complete with a namesake, Little Lori.

Margie had been pregnant with her eighth child when we met at the Fashion Share. Margie had accepted Jesus as her Savior and the church had outfitted her with maternity clothes and accessories. Two months later I was in the delivery room when her baby was born.

My mind drifted back to that occasion, December 6, 1990……. Continue reading

Motherhood (Pt. 2)

Mother’s Day 2000

I gave Jim a quick kiss when I read his cards, and then I opened the package, which he had meticulously wrapped himself. Inside was a darling little doll in a green travel case. The pretty blond had on a frilly dress and tiny little socks and patent leather shoes.

“She’s adorable honey. Thank you.”

“She’s blonde and beautiful, just like you.”

Jim served me lunch, and we chatted about our ministry schedule and upcoming events as we ate. When we finished our meal, I stood up and started to clear the coffee table.

“Leave that for a minute,” He said. “I have another present for you—“ Continue reading

Motherhood (Pt. 1)

When Jim and I were dating, we often talked on the phone into the night about everything; sharing personal stories, learning all about each other as sweethearts do at the beginning of a relationship. He described the emotional devastation he had gone through in prison, and I started opening up about my past. Continue reading

Marriage (Pt. 4)

My years of ministry in Master’s Commission had prepared me for whatever might come my way… or so I thought.  When I met Jim and fell in love with him and then married him shortly after, there were many challenges I had to face and overcome.  Some of the challenges had to do with who Jim was, what had happened to him, and Jim’s high-profile life.

I was instantly catapulted into the life of the famous, or in Jim’s case, infamous to many.  I had always had lots of friends but I also had a side of me that was private.  There were things that only God and I shared, some things that I shared with a few close companions, and some things I shared with family and friends.  But I had always been able to choose how much of my life I would broadcast and to whom.  That is, until I married Jim.  I found out very quickly that Jim’s method of “full disclosure” would be my best modus operandi. Continue reading

Marriage (Pt. 3)

By the spring of 1989, I was getting my life together.  The ten-year nightmare of my ill-advised marriage was over.  I had recommitted my life to Christ, joined Master’s Commission, and began this wonderful life of living and ministering for Jesus.  I had been in ministry for several years when I met Jim at the Dream Center in L.A.

Shortly after I met Jim and we had our first date, both of us knew that it was far more than a date; we were already falling in love.  And we knew that it was God bringing this love into our lives at the very time both of us had just about given up on ever finding love again. Continue reading

Marriage (Pt. 2)

During all the drama of my first marriage, I can still remember the times when the Spirit of God had wooed me.  He never left me, even in the midst of my rebellion.  There were times I would be high on drugs, and I could feel the Holy Spirit hovering over me, protecting me and shielding me from the agenda of the enemy – to steal, kill and destroy my life.  That may fly in the face of some religious thought out there, but it was true never-the-less.

Through His mercy, kindness and long-suffering, the Lord drew me back to Himself.  Though I had known Him as a child, I had not lived for Him in a very long time.  So when I committed to Him again in my late twenties, it was almost as if I had no idea how to live this new life.  I didn’t know how to be ‘religious’ and didn’t like ‘churchy’ things or people.  Yet all things were new and nothing of the past held any draw for me anymore.  Now divorced with a very checkered past, I knew only that my life was redeemed, and that was more than enough! Continue reading

Marriage (Pt. 1)

In my book, “More Than I Could Ever Ask”, I tell all the details about my first husband whom I chose for all the wrong reasons, none of which had anything to do with God.  When I met him, I was very young and naive and my ability to make good decisions was not yet mature.  Add to that the influence of drugs and you have a recipe for disaster and that is what happened.  The choices I made as a young woman led to 10 years of hell and heartache.

Remember the old Frank Sinatra song “I Did It My Way”?  It sounded really great to the generation that was being raised to indulge in the world and all of its pleasure.  We heard things like “go for the gusto” and “you only live once” and we bought it.  We bought the lie that we had a right to sinful lusts and worldly living that the Bible says brings pleasure for a season, but eventually brings death.  We bought the world’s philosophy of “self fulfillment”. Continue reading

On Marriage, Motherhood and Ministry

My readers often ask me how I do it – how I manage marriage, motherhood and ministry all at the same time.  The short answer is “I don’t” and the long answer is “He gives me grace”.  Though a book could be written on each aspect of my life and someday, probably will, today I want to start addressing these topics in little bites on my blog.  You’ve heard the expression “How do you eat an elephant” and most of us know that the only way you can do that is “one bite at a time”.  So, that’s how we’re going to start to cover these topics… a little at a time.

I will begin with a little background on where I came from and my thoughts about where I’m going.  I will always be completely open and transparent about everything because I believe that people are looking for other REAL people, not people wearing masks or personas.  The Lord knows we have enough of those kind of people!  When I’ve opened up like this in the past, some have said that it’s just TMI (too much information) and I need not tell every little detail of my life!  Continue reading

A Good Heart

When Jim and I married, we had both lived a long time on this earth and a lot of history had been written in our lives before we came together as husband and wife.  So, there was much to learn about each other!

As with most people when they fall in love and begin to realize they are moving toward a life-long commitment, we would sometimes talk into the night – hour upon hour – just trying to ‘get to know’ one another.  The truth is, we are still learning! Continue reading