I had rented a beautiful little cabin in the mountains and really enjoyed the solitude it afforded. One night I couldn’t sleep. So I got up and turned on the television. I flipped through the channels until I found a Christian program. It was The 700 Club. Pat Robertson was talking about abortion. The topic made me a little uneasy, but I didn’t change the station.
That night The 700 Club aired a video called The Silent Scream. This pro-life documentary was narrated by Dr. Bernard Nathanson, a former abortionist, and included live film footage of a suction abortion. For the first time I saw pictures of exactly what I had done. I was horrified, but I could not tear my eyes away from the screen.
“We are now looking at a sector scan of a real-time ultrasound imaging of a twelve-week, unborn child,” Dr. Nathanson said in his professorial voice.2Then he pointed out the child’s head and hand, the ribs and the spine. Twelve weeks. I had been a good sixteen weeks for one of my abortions, I remembered.
“The heart is beating at the rate of approximately 140 beats a minute. And we can see the child moving rather serenely in the uterus.”3The black-and-white images were grainy, but there was no mistaking the perfectly shaped fetus. I began to feel sick to my stomach. Ultrasound was not available when I had my abortions. If I had seen pictures like this . . .
“You will note as the suction tip, which is now over here, moves towards the child, the child will rear away from it and undergo much more violent and much more agitated movements . . . The child has now moved back to the profile view and the suction tip is flashing across the screen. The child’s mouth is now open . . . but this suction tip which you can see moving violently back and forth on the bottom of the screen is the lethal instrument which will ultimately tear apart and destroy the child.”
When I saw that baby, with its mouth open in a silent scream, pushing against the walls of its mother’s womb, my world completely shattered. I fell out of my chair and onto the hardwood floor, crying hysterically. The full fury of my sin, which I had stuffed so deep inside of me, erupted in such searing pain that I didn’t know if I could live through it—wasn’t sure I wanted to live through it. I lay on the floor and sobbed until I heaved.
And that’s when I heard the voice.
“Mommy, everything’s okay. We love you.”
That’s all. Just a few words uttered in a little boy’s voice. A voice so sweet and pure that it melted my heart.
Dear Lori,
Your story brought tears to my eyes….
……..I look forward to meeting you someday soon. If it may be possible, I would love to be used of the Lord to guide, comfort, and encourage young mothers………..
Thank you for being so transparent and real with those of us who watch you and Jim each day….you are touching so many lives!
Ruth
My eyes filled with tears as I read your grieving words and the comfort of your own children…Jesus is so good to allow them to comfort their mom….
I have a story of my own…the laws of our land are wicked, to make anyone think abortion is ok….
I hope to meet you someday soon. My heart is to be used to guide, comfort, and care for these unwed moms and help with your ministry if the Lord would guide and allow
Ruth
Lori, thank you for posting that. I’ve never had an abortion, but I have been sobbing for your grief. I feel like you are a good friend and I enjoy watching you and Jim every day. especially when you say “they’re listening!!” …we are, and God is using you to help people like me understand the pain of abortion. God bless you, Lori K
As I read your story I cryed with you..I am so sorry you went threw this pain..I know there must of been a reason..Maybe if you never went threw it you would of never and the desire to save so many more then you …sent to heaven…Some times God lets a few come back to heaven to save many..God bless you Lori..I was 14 when I had my first child and by the time I was 20 I had three …I raised them and they are now grown 33,30,28. It was not easy..I was adopted and could not put them threw the wonder..I also had help with them my mother could not have a child of her own so her fist grand child was like a dream come true to her …I was almost 2 when I came into her life…so she did not get to enjoy the baby stage..she more then made up for it all with the three grand children I blessed her with …Thanks for sharing Lori..
Thank you Lori, for sharing that experience. As horrifying as it is to hear of what this world is calling a mother’s ‘right’, and as obvious as it is why God is becoming very angry, ready to reveal His wrath, it never ceases to amaze me just how ready He is to forgive us and make us feel like everything is okay. The world is almost beyond words right now, even over issues as tender as this. The only thing that’s going to drive it home is a mighty revelation of His Spirit and Presence, because after all, it’s His Spirit that convicts of all sin, not us.
I watched show today I try to watch it twice a day at 4 pm and 12 am I posted on my facebook page about m y incomplete abortion I was not fully asleep when they performed it so Each and everyday for last 26 yrs I hear the vacumme running. and cry a lot because I was strong willed and had to work helping husband feed and chase horses. I know God forgives but I have trouble forgiving myself. God is so good. I thank God for your ministry and Tammy Sue when she haD SURPRISED YOU WHAT A BLESSING THAT WAS TO ME . SAYING GOD WILL RESTORE FAMILIES mY SON THaT IS 24 SAYS i AM DEAD. i JUST KEEP PRAYING FOR HIM AND FAMILY UNITY. FREEWILL GETS IN THE WAY SOMETIMES BUT WE DO COME BACK TO THE LORD LIKE i DID BEING RAISED IN A CHRISTIAN HOME THEN FELL AWAY DOING WHAT i KNEW WAS WRONG i WANTED VALIDATATION MY FATHER DIDNT EVEN WANT TO HEAR MY VOICE. i WAS MARRIED 3 TIMES AND MARRIED SAME TYPE OF GUY. NOW AT 63 TRYING TO LIVE FOR THE LORD . I HAVE TO THANK YOU AGAIN FOR YOUR MINISTRY . IT HAS HELPED ME SO MUCH I AM PRAYING THAT GOD WILL PROVIDE ME WITH THINGS I NEED FOR END TIMES. GOD BLESS ALL OF YOU IN CHRISTIAN LOVE DOROTHY
I am so very glad that I have never had to make a heart-wrenching
choice like that. I do not think that I could make the choice to go
through with an abortion. But sorry folks, until all men straigten up and fly right and rape and incest no longer take place, I will probably
be pro choice.