“Thanks, Mom!”

By Lori Bakker | | Filed in General

There’s no better feeling in the world than to hear your own child say “thanks” for doing something that’s good for them – but they didn’t necessarily appreciate it in the beginning!  There are things you do for them, and things you make them do that they will resist with every ounce of immaturity in them!

Think about it; brush your teeth, eat your vegetables, do your homework, clean your room, etc.  Kids don’t really ‘get’ the benefits of such things until they’re older.  And until they do ‘get it,’ life can be a little, well, challenging.

It’s been that way with emergency preparation, too.  Jim and I live what we preach, so we have taught our children the importance of being prepared for emergencies – and we know they get tired of hearing it sometimes!  Emergency preparation is one of those ‘bummer’ topics kids would rather not think about. But, second only to teaching them how to love and serve Jesus, this is something we consider a loving parental responsibility.

Sometimes you wonder if you will ever have the satisfaction of hearing a ‘thank you’….in this life, anyway!

But I remember clearly some years ago, when Claire, my middle daughter, hugged me tightly and in a moment of exceptional maturity and contemplation said “thanks, Mom…. because you and Dad have prepared for emergencies and taught us how to prepare, I am not afraid of the future.”

Moments like that makes it all worth it.

Claire Bakker’s 20th Birthday

Healthy Bodies and Spirituality

By Lori Bakker | | Filed in Last Days, Teaching | Tags: ,

Have you ever noticed that when you are really sick, you can’t in actuality concentrate on anything – and that includes spiritual things? When I’m sick, it seems like every bit of strength I have goes to getting well and I can’t seem to get spiritual about anything! I know none of you have ever dealt with this, but I sure have (*wink*).

In fact, being sick doesn’t bring out the best in me or anyone else. Some people think you get more spiritual when you’re sick, but I’ve found it to be just the opposite. There are times when I get outright cantankerous and I’ve seen others do the same thing. That’s just NORMAL. When people don’t feel good, they are not themselves.

This is one of the reasons Jim and I believe in being as healthy as possible. When your body is not healthy, you’re not as strong spiritually! This is one of the ways the devil will attack God’s people in the End Times, yet not many think about it at all. If you’re worn down physically, you’re less likely to be strong in your prayer life, or anything else.

If ever we need to be in good health, it’s in these tumultuous days. We live in a world that is morally, spiritually, and economically sick. Staying well ourselves is imperative so that we are not overcome by this world and all of its spiritual darkness. We need to be healthy in our bodies so that our spirits can be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might!

I hope you know that you were chosen to be here during the Last Days and that God has a special plan for your life. I hope you know that every single Child of God is important to the plan of God for these Last Days. I hope you take care of yourself and get as healthy as you can possibly get. Do what you can do – eat right – take care of that temple – and leave the rest to God!

Love,

Lori-Blue-Pen-Transparent

Do You Want to Please God or Man?

By Lori Bakker | | Filed in Last Days | Tags:

It’s a question that some people never want to hear, much less answer.  The truth is that our ‘natural man’ wants to please other men (man and men, in this case, represent mankind which includes women!)  But if we are born-again of the Spirit of God, our spiritual man seeks to please God.

This is one of those ‘mysteries’ in the Bible that we need to understand going into the Revelation Days.  The natural man actually wars against the spiritual man, and guess what?  Sometimes it wins!  Just ask me on days that I have circumstances in my life that are overwhelming!  Better yet, ask those around me!

I’m just keeping it real here.  Sometimes I give my ‘natural man’ permission to act out, and it’s not pretty.  My halo actually slips a little.  I’ll bet yours never does that, does it? 😉

Back to serious!

Early in my walk with the Lord, I heard Him ask me one day, “do you want to please Me, or man?”  Believe me, when you’re asked that question, your first reaction is to quickly answer, “YOU, Lord!”  But, even as I had that thought, I heard Him say, “don’t answer too quickly, because your answer will become the destiny of your life!”

No pressure.  No pressure at all.

As I began to ponder the question, I came to understand that pleasing God may include some things I hadn’t previously thought.  What if pleasing God included never being married or never having children?  What if pleasing God included consecrating my entire life to His service alone?

From my childhood, all I ever wanted to be was a wife and a mother.

I recalled the Scripture:  “seek ye first the Kingdom of God, and all these things shall be added unto you.”

Then my answer became clear:  “Lord, if I never have anyone or anything in my life except YOU, YOU are more than enough.  I choose YOU, Lord!  If I am single my whole life, if I never have children, I choose YOU!  If I have to choose between pleasing man (myself included) or pleasing YOU, I choose YOU!  Today I choose the WHOLE desire of my heart is YOU, Lord!”

After that defining point in my life, I spent 10 years in inner-city ministry.  The Lord truly tested the resolve of my made-up mind and found that I had meant what I said and it came from my heart.

If any of you have read my book, “More Than I Could Ever Ask,” you know that I worked menial jobs and did what I had to do to continue in ministry as a single woman.  Oh, but then…..

God truly did give me the desires of my heart and more when Jim and I married and we subsequently were given 5 beautiful children to love and raise!

Back when God presented that perplexing question to me, I counted the cost and weighed my answer against the natural (wo)man’s desires and chose the spiritual (wo)man’s path.  It has been many years since then, and I was over 40 when God gave me the fullness of my heart’s desires.  Had I chosen my own path, I’m sure my life’s outcome would have been much different.

Today, I am teaching this principle to my own children, which God gave to me, and I pray that they too will seek to please God first.

Love,

Lori Signature

Angels Watching Over You

By Lori Bakker | | Filed in Uncategorized

Recently, on a show taping, we were talking about the supernatural and how there is such a need for a supernatural God in the End Times. Like the Bible says to do, we stirred up our faith by talking about the times we have experienced a supernatural event. It’s necessary to do that… because sometimes we get dull in our spiritual senses!

If there’s one thing we need in the Last Days, it’s a sharp awareness of the fact that we are spiritual beings living in a temporary body. One day we will have an eternal, glorified body just as the Lord does, but for today, we need to know how to break through the natural realm we live in temporarily and touch the supernatural which is for our benefit, protection and understanding of our todays!

Let me tell you about a time when Jim and I were in Moravian Falls, North Carolina in a little cabin that has been fondly dubbed “the prophet’s cabin.” We had been in a meeting earlier in the evening where angelic visitations were the topic, and before retiring for the night, the speaker had prayed for all of us to have a supernatural angelic visitation.

Now, angelic visitations were not unusual in Biblical days. In fact, they are written throughout the Bible in numerous accounts. There are guardian angels, protective angels, warring angels, and my favorite: ministering angels. Hebrews 1:14 says about angels: “Are they not all ministering spirits sent forth to minister for those who will inherit salvation?” So, angelic visitations should be common to those who are saved!

Back to my story. That night in Moravian Falls, I really, really wanted to have an angelic visitation. I believed the word of the prophet who prayed for us all, and I wanted a visitation! In fact, I stayed up most of the night praying and waiting for a visitation until 3:30 a.m., I went to bed spent – yet my prayers seemingly went unanswered. I was so disappointed, but not for long.

Sometime during the night, I began to have a full-on conversation with angels who were showing me things to come. I remember standing in a tabernacle watching kids practice a ‘human video’ and the angels came and fell on their faces and cried “holy, holy, holy!” Then one precious angel gave me a wink and a nod and was gone!

When I woke up, I was so excited! I told Jim “let me tell you what the angels showed me and what they told me!” …to which he replied, “no, let me tell YOU what you heard and saw.” It seems I had talked out loud in my sleep in vivid detail about everything that had been going on in my dream!

Years after that visitation, I remember standing in the new tabernacle we were building for our Master’s Commission kids and I heard the voice of the Lord say, “this is what I showed you in your dream!”

I don’t want anyone to ever think that seeking the supernatural just for the sake of phenomenon is what I’m talking about because you must be discerning of every spirit! Here’s why: if they are not sent by God to have a mission as God’s angels do, then they are fallen angels with the purpose to deceive. There are numerous accounts in the Bible of those kind of angels sent from Satan as well! Remember, Satan himself is a fallen angel.

But as the Times of Trouble come in the Last Days, I believe we can and should call upon the Lord to send HIS angels to do HIS work in this earth with HIS people.

Have you had an angelic visitation? I’d like to hear about it, and others will be strengthened in their faith by your testimony. The Bible says we will overcome by the Blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony.

Let’s get talking and telling of the wonderful works of God!

Love,

Lori

Joy Came in the Morning (pt 4)

By Lori Bakker | | Filed in Teaching | Tags: ,

Early August 1998

“The next year, 1977, I got pregnant again. Jesse and I had moved to Farmington, New Mexico. I remember we drove there the night Elvis died, pulling a small trailer with everything we owned. Jesse was working a lot of hours as a boilermaker for a power plant there. We rented a double-wide mobile home, and it was one of the nicer places we lived. I fixed it up, and I was the typical little housewife—except that I smoked pot all the time. We weren’t doing major drugs then. My grandma Graham died, and when I flew to Phoenix for the funeral, I made a doctor’s appointment. I needed to have a cyst removed, and since I had just found out I was pregnant—and Jesse didn’t want the baby, of course—I decided to have an abortion at the same time. That was the only abortion that was done in a hospital.”

Chris and Jolene asked a question now and then to prod my memory, but mostly they just let me talk.

“Jesse and I separated for a while, and he had a girlfriend. When we got back together, we moved to Pinetop, up in the mountains; it was very beautiful there. Because of Jesse’s work we moved a lot, little towns all over Arizona and New Mexico. I once counted fifty different apartments or houses or hotels where we had lived in the ten years we were married.

“We went to Prescott for the fourth of July. It was wild there in the ‘70’s. The Hell’s Angels would ride into town, and the police would close the streets for the holiday. Prescott is a quaint little town with antique shops, and there’s a street called Whiskey Row with a bunch of saloons. Jesse and I were doing Quaaludes and partying in and out of the bars. I was so spaced out, I was offering Quaaludes to cops; there was no way they could control the drugs and alcohol, so they simply tried to keep the peace. We were in front of the courthouse, in the center of town, when Jesse went nuts and started hitting me, and the cops had to pull him off of me.
“Jesse screamed, ‘Just get the ______ out of my life. Go find somebody else.’

“I literally took him up on it. I turned around, walked across the street, went into a bar, and met a man. Paul took me to his cabin, and I spent the night there with him. We had an off-and-on relationship for the next couple of years. Whenever Jesse beat me up, I called Paul; he came and got me and nursed me back to health. He was a very gentle guy. I don’t think he ever wanted me to leave Jesse to marry him, but he was always there for m. Jesse never knew about him.”

…..more to come.

Joy Came in the Morning – Part 1
Joy Came in the Morning – Part 2
Joy Came in the Morning – Part 3

Joy Came in the Morning (pt 3)

By Lori Bakker | | Filed in Abortion, Healing, Lori's House, Teaching | Tags: ,

Early August 1998

We had a beautiful suite with a separate bedroom and a kitchenette off the full-size living room. From the moment we walked in, I felt the presence of God, and I began to realize that something truly supernatural was in store for me that night.

Because I knew it would be an emotional time, I went to the bathroom, took my contacts out, and washed my face. While I was putting my pajamas on, Chris and Jolene prepared the living room. They placed boxes of tissues in various spots around the room, and they decorated one of the tables with a white linen tablecloth with lace trim. READ MORE →

Joy Came in the Morning (pt 2)

By Lori Bakker | | Filed in Teaching | Tags: ,

Early August 1998

That summer, my new friends Chris Harper and Jolene Dreisbach had been to a post-abortion healing conference in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. I’d never even heard the term post-abortion before that time, but I knew God was dealing with me about the abortion issue, and I knew that’s why he had brought Chris and Jolene into my life. I also knew it was time to leave Master’s Commission but did not yet know what I would do after that. Pastor Barnett had asked me to go to L.A. and help start the LAIC, the outreach that eventually became the Dream Center. Jack Wallace, who had been teaching the singles’ class the Sunday in 1989 when I made a commitment to Christ, was now pasturing a church in Detroit and wanted me on staff there. It would be a paid ministry position, and that would be a first for me.

As I prayed for direction, God started putting all the puzzle pieces together, and by August, Chris, Jolene, and I had decided to start a ministry to help bring healing to women who’d been through abortions. Before we formalized our plans to start Truth Ministries, the girls had told me they wanted to hold a memorial service for me. They’d been working on the ideas they’d learned at the Milwaukee conference, which had been not just for helping women heal emotionally after abortion but also after miscarriage and SIDS. “If we incorporated the Holy Spirit into the memorial,” they told me, “incredible things could happen.”

“Lori, think of it this way,” Chris said. “You never had a baby shower or did any of the things that would commemorate having a child. That’s what this memorial will do.”

“Or think of it this way,” Jolene added. “If you’d had a still born child or even a miscarriage, friends would have consoled you, and you would have mourned. But women who’ve had abortions—women like us—actually had the same kind of loss, yet we never had the experience of grieving for our children.”

I thought the idea of holding a memorial service for me sounded kind of strange at first, but they persisted.

“This is a way to deal with the abortions once and for all and to bring closure on the past,” Chris said.

Jolene agreed. “Please let us do this for you, Lori.”

We scheduled the memorial for the last weekend in August, right before my birthday. The week prior to that, God started softening my heart. I had always been the strong one, the one people came to with their problems. That week I became mush. Pastor Barnett rarely mentioned abortion from the pulpit, but that week he mentioned it twice, Sunday morning and Wednesday night. For some reason it was on his heart; he didn’t know I was that reason. He preached that abortion was wrong, but he also expressed compassion for women who had felt they had no other alternative.

On Wednesday night after church, Chris and Jolene told their families good-bye, then we drove to neighboring Scottsdale, where they had rented a one-bedroom hotel suite. We planned on staying until Friday night, so the fact that Chris and Jolene’s husbands were taking care of their kids for two days so we could be free to do this was a big deal to me. I didn’t think I deserved it. I was always telling people that God had great things in store for them, but I didn’t believe I would ever have the great things of God because the sin I had committed—abortion—was so horrible. I felt I would have to live with the pain and the emptiness, the loss and the shame, no matter how great a Christian I became. As we drove to Scottsdale, I sensed God saying to me, “Let these people minister to you.”

…..more to come.

Joy Came in the Morning – Part 1
Joy Came in the Morning – Part 3
Joy Came in the Morning – Part 4

Joy Came in the Morning (pt 1)

By Lori Bakker | | Filed in Healing, Teaching | Tags: ,

“Jamie Charles Bakker was born December 18, 1975.” Jim was pretending to narrate a biography of his son.

The four of us— Jim and I, Jay and Amanda—were traveling from L.A. to Muskegon, Michigan, for the Bakker family reunion, and Jim was using the occasion to fill me in on some of the family history. Jim continued his story, but my mind stopped and focused on that date. December 18, 1975.

“Lori, you sure got quiet,” Jay said after a few minutes. “Are you carsick? Or just mesmerized by our life stories?” The others laughed.

“No, I…Sorry, Jay, I just had a major reality check when I heard your date of birth.” I swallowed hard. “You’re the same age my firstborn son would have been.” That realization had hit me like a ton of bricks. If I had carried my first pregnancy to term, the baby would have been born in late December ’75 or early January ’76.” I was looking at a flesh-and-blood son—soon to be my son, or at least my stepson—with his arm around his girlfriend, and he was the same age my firstborn would have been. “You guys could have been really good friends,” I said wistfully.

The moment passed awkwardly, Jay didn’t know what to say, and Jim simply looked sad. He reached over and took my hand. As much healing as I have had, the old, familiar grief can still reach out and squeeze my heart in a split second. IT doesn’t happen often, but when it does, it is very real. Every time I looked at Jay for the next few hours, I thought of the son I never had because of my own choices. Gradually those thoughts faded.

Such thoughts, while painful, no longer overwhelmed me because of a deep inner healing I had experienced in 1994. That event remains the single most precious moment of truth in my life.

…..more to come.

Joy Came in the Morning – Part 2
Joy Came in the Morning – Part 3
Joy Came in the Morning – Part 4

A Little Boy’s Voice (Conclusion)

By Lori Bakker | | Filed in Abortion, Ministry Updates

This concludes this series about my life and the abortions in my past. Whenever I share my story, I inevitably have several women report that they, too, had a similar background and after reading my testimony, they finally feel that they’re not alone.

Let me assure you, you are not alone. One in four women today have had an abortion, or multiple abortions. Abortion is an epidemic and it leaves an incredible scar on the lives of those it touches.

In the next few blogs, I will be sharing about the healing process and how it was carried out in my life. My hope is that there will be someone who can receive their healing as well from hearing about mine, though healing comes at different times and in different ways as only God can orchestrate.

If you have abortion in your background, I want to assure you that there is healing, and there is forgiveness, though the hardest thing about it is forgiving yourself. It was for me. But our Heavenly Father cannot and does not hold sin against you when you ask Him for forgiveness – even abortion.

There is freedom. Hold on to your faith and keep reading as we go on this journey together through the healing process.

Love,

 

Lori

 

A Little Boy’s Voice (Pt. 7)

By Lori Bakker | | Filed in Abortion, Healing, Motherhood | Tags: ,

Because I’d never had an ultrasound, I didn’t know the gender of any of the children I aborted, so don’t ask me how I knew this; I can’t tell you. But somehow I knew in my heart that the voice I had just heard belonged to my son. He would have been my firstborn.

Now, on the beach, I understood why God had wanted me to hear the radio broadcast of “Tilly,” and why he had spoken to me in the voice of my unborn child for the second time. He had already forgiven me, but he wanted to begin a healing process in me. I remember hearing a preacher say once that God does things in the heavenly realm that there are no earthly words to describe. I believe that with God, all things are possible. Whatever it takes for you to be healed, that’s what he will do for you. That’s what it took for me. I needed to hear that voice. Needed that reassurance.

God knew I could never have taken all the guilt and grief at once. So he restored me bit by bit, patched my broken spirit piece by piece. I did not get up from that experience energized and with a burning zeal to speak to women about abortion. In fact, over time, I almost forgot what God had shown me that day. Yet, I always remembered hearing that voice, and I remembered it as a healing time, a moment when God, in his infinite grace and mercy, put a Band-Aid on my bleeding soul.

After my hour alone on the beach, I was able to pull myself together. I got up, brushed myself off, and walked back to where Bobbi and the kids were soaking up the sun. I had lost the exuberance with which we had started the trip, but I was functional again.

Yet, it would be another five years before I would fully grieve for the loss of my children. And that would be the third and final time I heard my son’s voice….

…I heard Adam’s voice for a final time. “We’re waiting here for you, Mommy, and one day you’ll be here too, and we’ll spend forever together.” The voice was very comforting, and I knew I wasn’t crazy. The inaudible voice was really God speaking to my spirit; I heard it as a child’s voice—my son’s voice—because that was what I needed for my healing. God had prepared me for this moment by letting me hear that voice years earlier.