I had rented a beautiful little cabin in the mountains and really enjoyed the solitude it afforded. One night I couldn’t sleep. So I got up and turned on the television. I flipped through the channels until I found a Christian program. It was The 700 Club. Pat Robertson was talking about abortion. The topic made me a little uneasy, but I didn’t change the station.
That night The 700 Club aired a video called The Silent Scream. This pro-life documentary was narrated by Dr. Bernard Nathanson, a former abortionist, and included live film footage of a suction abortion. For the first time I saw pictures of exactly what I had done. I was horrified, but I could not tear my eyes away from the screen.
“We are now looking at a sector scan of a real-time ultrasound imaging of a twelve-week, unborn child,” Dr. Nathanson said in his professorial voice.2Then he pointed out the child’s head and hand, the ribs and the spine. Twelve weeks. I had been a good sixteen weeks for one of my abortions, I remembered.
“The heart is beating at the rate of approximately 140 beats a minute. And we can see the child moving rather serenely in the uterus.”3The black-and-white images were grainy, but there was no mistaking the perfectly shaped fetus. I began to feel sick to my stomach. Ultrasound was not available when I had my abortions. If I had seen pictures like this . . .
“You will note as the suction tip, which is now over here, moves towards the child, the child will rear away from it and undergo much more violent and much more agitated movements . . . The child has now moved back to the profile view and the suction tip is flashing across the screen. The child’s mouth is now open . . . but this suction tip which you can see moving violently back and forth on the bottom of the screen is the lethal instrument which will ultimately tear apart and destroy the child.”
When I saw that baby, with its mouth open in a silent scream, pushing against the walls of its mother’s womb, my world completely shattered. I fell out of my chair and onto the hardwood floor, crying hysterically. The full fury of my sin, which I had stuffed so deep inside of me, erupted in such searing pain that I didn’t know if I could live through it—wasn’t sure I wanted to live through it. I lay on the floor and sobbed until I heaved.
And that’s when I heard the voice.
“Mommy, everything’s okay. We love you.”
That’s all. Just a few words uttered in a little boy’s voice. A voice so sweet and pure that it melted my heart.
Hi Lori… I’ve loved your current blog “series” and LOVE reading your “story” MORE THAN I COULD EVER ASK. Everyone has a story and I LOVE yours!
I too have seen the silent scream many times. For me, it is like the movie Passion of the Christ. I “NEVER” want to forget. (however I know the movie Passion could not ever portray the intensity of what our Lord really went through… but what I saw was more than enough for this gal)
I am a visual person and seeing these videos of highest truth must remain fresh, so I never forget. I will “RE” MEMBER! Sounds perhaps a bit morbid but it helps the passion and soil in my soul & spirit to remain tender within so what I sow into the Kingdom at hand and all I dream to do will always be seeds that fall into rich fertile soil.
I once got a lot of flack from many when I would not go and picket the abortion clinics in the 80’s. And to this day no one will EVER see me picketing the abortion clinics. I just can’t see Jesus out there “picketing” or “verbally bashing or scolding” the women who enter in the clinics to do something they feel they have no way out of (at the time)… And I firmly believe many times they don’t really know what they are doing in a 360 perspective. Jesus HIMSELF said: “Forgive them for they know not what they do!”
I choose to help them “through” their valley of the shadow of death and lead them to Genuine Freedom in all of the stages of abortion. The aspect that has been appearing more and more in the news is the suicide rates and attempted suicides that are beginning to surface because women in “due season” are realizing they were lied to and the life within them was taken by their choice. A choice many are not able to get their brain around, and so they go further and take yet another life … their own because of shame and guilt.
http://www.lifenews.com/2013/07/31/studies-show-higher-risk-of-suicide-for-women-following-an-abortion/
I weep as I write knowing the enemy continues to be the father of LIES who comes to kill, steal and destroy. He is no respecter of LIFE… a fetus; embryo; child; teen; adult or elderly. Yet our Heavenly Father… our Abba Father beckons us to search the highways and the byways and compel them to come in… come into a genuine knowledgeable wise forgiveness,and walk the walk of forgiveness and freedom that only Jesus can give and then join the ranks to go out with their personal testimony to bind up the broken hearted and set the captives free as they once were chained up but now are free! Age or the sin is simply NOT a factor with Jesus for: Whom the Lord sets free is FREE INDEED… Glory Hallelujah!
Love Hugs and intense prayer continues for Lori’s House!
His love and My love are lovingly sent to you all from California!
~ I John 4:7&8, Kathlene
Lori, how wonderful that God gave you the understanding of the TRUTH about abortion. He allowed you to feel what the pain He feels when he watches one of His little creations so violently and painfully destroyed and deprived of the life He intended for it to live. The redeeming blessing is that He is giving you the privilege of providing a home for women who might have aborted their babies if it weren’t for your Lori’s House. He is indeed a wonderful forgiving and restorative God